Transparency

In the light of transparency, I have some things to share with you. It amazes me every single time I sit down to write. This is not something I ever thought I would do. I dreamed of being a writer when I was a little girl... or a proofreader. Haha what can I say? I love to read, I read ridiculously fast, and I like to edit things. Which is really funny if you have been following my blog, because I don't worry so much about punctuation and correct sentence structure. I just let what flows through come out. I digress though.

Transparency... What do you think of when you read that word? I always think of those old projector things they had when were in school. You put the clear transparency on this lighted thingy and it projected it onto the wall. I also think of something being clear, easy to see through. I had never really thought too hard about it until this week. Upon looking up the meaning of transparency, I was prompted with a thought....

If transparency is being clear, easy to see through, what is it that people should see? They should see Jesus' light shining through us. They should see a clear outline of ourselves, but that beautiful Holy Spirit encompassing us as well as all that we do. So what does that look like? 

Isaiah 60 1-3 says:  Arise, shine, for your light has come,
and the glory of the Lord has risen upon you. 

For behold, darkness shall cover the earth,
and thick darkness the peoples;
but the Lord will arise upon you,
and his glory will be seen upon you.

And nations shall come to your light,
and kings to the brightness of your rising.

John 1 1-5 says:   In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was in the beginning with God. All things were made through him, and without him was not any thing made that was made. In him was life, and the life was the light of men.  The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.

You see the light isn't of our own making. He is the Light. When you see me, you should see Him. Everything I do should be a reflection of Him. You shouldn't see me and what I can do, but Him and what He can do. Apart from Him, I can do nothing. With Him, I can do whatever He calls me to do. Take note of that... not whatever I want to do, but what HE wants me to do. 

When I let my own sinful wants and needs get in the way of what He wants me to do, I am holding up progress. I am keeping the work from being completed in me... not because He can't change me, but because I don't want to be changed. It may be conscious or subconscious. It might be the enemy whispering in my ear and me believing whatever lie he has told me. It doesn't take much to get me off track, sad to say. However, I know there is grace, and that He will pull me back on track when I let go of the wheel. The hardest part for me is letting go of the wheel. I am so accustomed to doing what needs doing whenever it needs doing. I take what He tells me and run with it.. usually leaving Him behind, telling me to wait on Him. To follow Him, not my misunderstanding of what it is He wants from me. There's this song that says something about being a sinner, getting caught up in words and tangled in lies. I do that. I get caught up in words. I get lost in the lies. I take what I think He's said to me and run with it, or I get so caught up in the trees, I miss the forest. 

I lie to myself and others about how I'm doing, what I'm thinking. I miss the little things, and I hide my true feelings. Sometimes I'm not feeling very friendly and happy. Sometimes it's a struggle to find something to be joyful about. Sometimes life here just sucks. Sometimes I get depressed, sad, mad, angry, hurt, mean, ugly... When those things are happening, it's not transparency, allowing Jesus' light to shine through. It's my own ugly red light bulb, creating a dark stain on the beauty He is creating in me. Add in the shame that the enemy tweaks into something even darker and uglier, and you've got an ugly, not-so-beautiful mess. Instead of giving into those feelings, I should turn to Papa and ask Him to take them away. Honestly I try to remember to do that, but sometimes it's hard and I don't feel like it. Sometimes I want to wallow in my own misery and self destruction. Sometimes it's just easier, and that's a shame, because there's this promise:

John 16:33 says: "I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.” 

Trusting in Him, being transparent and allowing His light to shine through us... all these things lead to peace. Yes, we will still have tribulation. Yes, we will still have misery and self destruction. And yes... we will have peace, for He has already overcome the world. He already did it. It is finished. He's already forgiven us for our sins... yesterday's, today's and tomorrow's. He knows we aren't perfect and that we are going to mess up. That's why He sent us Jesus and the Holy Spirit. Apart from Father, Son and Spirit, we can do nothing. We can overcome nothing. We will get lost in translation, lost in the lies. With Him, however, we can do all things He calls us to do. He never promises us an easy ride, but He does promise it will be worth it.