Chaos and Pain

Chaos and pain, falling like rain
Everywhere I turn, it's always the same..
The hurting, the crying, the sick and the dying.
The sadness, the tears... all those wasted years.

Everywhere I go, everyone I know,
Always the same, chaos and pain...

No mercy, no grace, no love in this place,
I scream in pain, why don't they know Your NAME???
Can they not see, what it means to be...
Loved. By You.
Held. By You.
Saved. By You.

All these thoughts, swirling, whirling, spinning out of control
Rescued from a pit of despair,
No longer dreaming of someone to care.
Hope and Love, Joy and Peace...
only found at Your Feet.

Rest.... Exquisite rest,
Unlike we've ever known.
The feeling of knowing You are our best,
accepting the love You've always shown.

Clinging to You, and the hope that You bring,
seeking Your guidance in everything..
Being obedient to all that You ask,
Letting go of the things we clung to in the past.

Learning and growing,
seeking and sowing,
Listening and showing...
Your light is already glowing.

Hearing the cry...
Stopping. Not passing by.
Trusting in You, do.... or die.

Die to self and wealth, sickness and pain
Awakening with love, joy and no shame. 
Knowing You are there, that You love and You care.
Knowing... You are always there.

Sanctification Cookies

You are probably thinking, what in the world is this girl going to talk about? Sanctification Cookies? What does that even mean??? Well, sometimes Papa talks to me in the most interesting ways. This would be one of them.

Last Thursday, Snowtorious B.I.G., or Snowpocalypse 2013, or whatever you want to call it, happened. The prediction of lots of snow on top of a little ice led to the school system cancelling for the day, before it even hit. That never happens, people. Sure enough, a metric ton of beautiful icky nasty fell from the sky, mid morning throughout the day. We were stuck in the house for seven full days. One day, we made cookies...

I found the recipe on pinterest and was intrigued. I love shortbread cookies, and these sounded perfect, with two whole cups of butter. Yum!!! Nati and I followed the recipe perfectly. They smelled amazing and looked pretty too! We were so excited, until......

Dun, dun, dun....

They were terrible!!!! They tasted great, but were so dry and crumbly, you couldn't pick one up. You also couldn't eat one without a huge glass of milk or water. Even the smallest bite felt like a dry gummy mess in your mouth. So disappointing!!! I was upset, because I hate to waste ingredients like that. That's what it felt like, a waste. So they sat on the counter as I tried to figure out what to do with them.

In the meantime, a dear friend wasn't feeling well, so I offered to send her family dinner. As I was cooking for them, God whispered in my ear, "Send her some of the cookies." But, Lord!!! They are awful, why would you want me to give them to her?!? They aren't fit to eat as they are!!!

His reply? This:

These cookies are like your lives. Sometimes they crumble, and you feel like a failure for being unable to hold onto what you know. But they are sweet, and there are tiny moments that taste absolutely amazing. They are also dry at times, and it feels as if you are in the desert with no end in sight. They are very delicate.. the least touch can break them, but they can be reformed into something amazing with the Creator's hand, when He's ready to make that change. 

So I sent my friend the cookies, with the note Papa had given me. She and I had a great conversation via text about the message He had sent us.  He is always with us, even when it seems like life is crumbling around us. He is God with us, Emmanuel. He holds everything together, even in the midst of what to us is major chaos. Always there, always loving us... Always holding on to us, and waiting to change our lives into something amazing.

Here's the recipe to what my friend dubbed "Sanctification Cookies". They may turn out perfectly for you, but if they don't... if they fall apart and crumble, remember this post. He can reform you and your chaotic life into something beautiful and holy, if you will let Him. He is waiting... On you. If you will heed His call, when the time is right, He will make those changes in and through you.

All because He loves you........



Sanctification Cookies

Ingredients:

• 1 cups all purpose flour
• 1 cup cornstarch
• 1/4 teaspoon salt
• 1/4 cup powdered sugar
• 1 cup unsalted butter, room temperature
• 1 ½ teaspoon pure vanilla extract
 
Topping:
• 1 cup powdered sugar, sifted

Instructions:

In a medium sized bowl whisk together the flour, cornstarch and salt. Set aside.

Using a bowl fitted with a mixer, beat the butter and sugar until light and fluffy, about 2 minutes. Beat in the vanilla extract and slowly add the flour mixture and continue mixing until incorporated.

Cover with saran wrap and chill the dough in the refrigerator for at least one hour or until firm.

Line two baking sheets with parchment paper.

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (177 degrees C) and place the rack in the center of oven.

When dough is firm take out of the refrigerator, uncover and form into 1 inch (2.5 cm) balls and place the cookies on the prepared baking sheets spacing about 1 inch apart.

Bake for about 12 - 14 minutes or until the edges of the cookies start to brown. Baking time may vary depending on altitude so be sure not to burn the cookies.

Remove from oven and place on a wire rack to cool for about 5 minutes.

Meanwhile, line another baking pan or tray with parchment or wax paper. Sprinkle about half of the confectioners powdered sugar onto the bottom of the pan and then place the slightly cooled cookies on top of the sugar. Put the remaining sugar in a fine strainer or sieve and then sprinkle the tops of the cookies or just roll the cookies in the sugar. 

Oh, and if you are wondering what is to become of the rest of the cookies? They are going to make a lovely shortbread crust for a pie for Christmas. Change is good, y'all ;)

Merry Christmas, sweet friends!!

Transparency and Truth, pt 2

So I know titling these part one and two is going to be a bit confusing, seeing as how this one is going to go in a slightly different path. That's how this works for me though. He gives me an idea, and we bat it back and forth as He shows me what He wants me to know. And I'll admit it. I'm stubborn, and don't always listen... or always want to listen. This is one of those times. He's given me some hard truths lately. Things I didn't want to know about myself, and I sure as heck didn't want to deal with them. Ugh. Can we just bypass this part of the growth thing and go on to better, more fun times??? Please?

And that's where I've been lately. In a funk. I wrote this two weeks ago:

Transparency and Truth... these are thoughts in my head tonight. It's been a rough week, and if I'm being honest with myself as well, it's been rough for a while now. Spiritually there's been growth, but I've felt this blockage for a while and have been struggling with it. Physically, it's been the dumps, and I've been in the dumps. Emotionally, there's been a veil of sorts... Not there all the time, but at times... almost a numbness of sorts. It's been strange and I've been strange.

Two weeks ago. I've had some awesome stuff happen these last two weeks. I've written more than I have all year. I've been feeling better, sort of. If you disregard that cold I got that keeps hanging on and the stomach bug that kept everyone home this week. Our daughter Alaia, turned 8 and made an amazing dinner with daddy for our first ever, "Birthday Chef" birthday event. Ben taught two awesome sermons, and we got a preview of The Fringe worship team. They were awesome too, and we are so excited for the future! We got the Word that adoption is in our future... The future looks awesome.

But right now? Right now I'm struggling. I'm clinging to Him in desperation, because I'm finding it hard to hang on. I was just starting to feel better... less pain in my body and more energy, something I hadn't felt in a while. Bam. I got knocked on my butt by a cold. Just beginning to get over that and Whap! Stomach bug. (And add to that the Mom of the Year award for sending my kids to school on Tuesday, thinking they were better, only to have them puking right along with me that very night. Awesome.) Ben and I have reconnected on a spiritual level in the last two weeks. Something we were both missing very much. Tonight was the first night we've gotten to talk since Sunday, and that was spotty because of puking kiddo number one. I want a clean, organized house. He's told me to do it. Around here, though, it's seriously two steps forward, three back. Just when I think I've got it, it slips away again and I'm surrounded by chaos. I keep trying to quit smoking.. I will think this is the time, this is it, I'm done, and boom.... I'm trying to be healthy and it's hard.

Do you see the problem in all of that? I... I.. I. I am the problem. I want to be in control SOOOO BAD!!!! It's a sickness. It's the enemy. It's sin. It's sin eating away at me, and the enemy poking his little stick at it and stirring it up and stirring me up into a mess of control seeking chaos. And telling myself that it's ok that I want control of this, I should take care of this because it's a little thing. And besides, I gave Him the church, didn't I? Oh and moving.. gave Him that one too. And definitely our future son, cause there's no way we could do that without Him... He's the one who told us we were doing that in the first place. So yeah, I'm gonna handle this one, OK? I've got it under contr.... Oh wait....

Romans 7: 18-19 says: For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out. For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing.  

Yeah. The truth is, I can't get it under control. Everything I try to handle on my own turns out wrong. When I let go of things, they work out. Each and every time.. Not because I'm in control, but because He's in control. He gave us the Holy Spirit to guide us. Even when we are unable to speak, the Spirit can speak for us..

Romans 8:26 says: Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words.


Over the last few days, the Spirit has been interceding for me, and has been showing me that He is. I've had people give me hope and love. I've had articles posted on facebook that spoke directly to some things on my heart. I've been in talks with Him more than usual. I've had friends and sistas text and call and just say hey, I love you. He's been showing me His love all around me. He knew what I needed, even if I didn't.

Matthew 6: 25-34: “Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.“Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.

Ok, ok. ok... I get it!  No... I do actually love it when He shows me in the Bible where He's made a promise. He's been in charge for a lot longer than I've even dreamed of being in existence. I have to let go. He's got this. I don't have to maintain that white knuckled control I try to keep, even when I don't realize I'm trying to keep it. I have to take "me" out of it and let Him do what He's doing.

Sigh... I would love to say, eureka, I've got it, I can do this. But let's be realistic. I'm still a messy ol selfish sinner.... no matter how hard I try to change, I'm gonna mess up. The truth is, He knows that too. He knows we can't do it without Him. That's why He sent Jesus and the Holy Spirit. We are a sinful mess, folks, and He loves us so much He gives us grace...

2 Corinthians, 12:9... one of my favorites:  But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

So I'm boasting yall... I'm weak, I mess up... I get angry, I get sad, I get in a funk. I make mistakes on a daily basis, and sometimes I just don't feel like being happy. When you see me like that, pray for me. Point me back in the right direction. Remind me that His grace is sufficient, and His power is made perfect in my weakness...  And I promise, if I see you in the same boat, I'll do the same for you.. We will weather this storm together :)

Transparency

In the light of transparency, I have some things to share with you. It amazes me every single time I sit down to write. This is not something I ever thought I would do. I dreamed of being a writer when I was a little girl... or a proofreader. Haha what can I say? I love to read, I read ridiculously fast, and I like to edit things. Which is really funny if you have been following my blog, because I don't worry so much about punctuation and correct sentence structure. I just let what flows through come out. I digress though.

Transparency... What do you think of when you read that word? I always think of those old projector things they had when were in school. You put the clear transparency on this lighted thingy and it projected it onto the wall. I also think of something being clear, easy to see through. I had never really thought too hard about it until this week. Upon looking up the meaning of transparency, I was prompted with a thought....

If transparency is being clear, easy to see through, what is it that people should see? They should see Jesus' light shining through us. They should see a clear outline of ourselves, but that beautiful Holy Spirit encompassing us as well as all that we do. So what does that look like? 

Isaiah 60 1-3 says:  Arise, shine, for your light has come,
and the glory of the Lord has risen upon you. 

For behold, darkness shall cover the earth,
and thick darkness the peoples;
but the Lord will arise upon you,
and his glory will be seen upon you.

And nations shall come to your light,
and kings to the brightness of your rising.

John 1 1-5 says:   In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was in the beginning with God. All things were made through him, and without him was not any thing made that was made. In him was life, and the life was the light of men.  The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.

You see the light isn't of our own making. He is the Light. When you see me, you should see Him. Everything I do should be a reflection of Him. You shouldn't see me and what I can do, but Him and what He can do. Apart from Him, I can do nothing. With Him, I can do whatever He calls me to do. Take note of that... not whatever I want to do, but what HE wants me to do. 

When I let my own sinful wants and needs get in the way of what He wants me to do, I am holding up progress. I am keeping the work from being completed in me... not because He can't change me, but because I don't want to be changed. It may be conscious or subconscious. It might be the enemy whispering in my ear and me believing whatever lie he has told me. It doesn't take much to get me off track, sad to say. However, I know there is grace, and that He will pull me back on track when I let go of the wheel. The hardest part for me is letting go of the wheel. I am so accustomed to doing what needs doing whenever it needs doing. I take what He tells me and run with it.. usually leaving Him behind, telling me to wait on Him. To follow Him, not my misunderstanding of what it is He wants from me. There's this song that says something about being a sinner, getting caught up in words and tangled in lies. I do that. I get caught up in words. I get lost in the lies. I take what I think He's said to me and run with it, or I get so caught up in the trees, I miss the forest. 

I lie to myself and others about how I'm doing, what I'm thinking. I miss the little things, and I hide my true feelings. Sometimes I'm not feeling very friendly and happy. Sometimes it's a struggle to find something to be joyful about. Sometimes life here just sucks. Sometimes I get depressed, sad, mad, angry, hurt, mean, ugly... When those things are happening, it's not transparency, allowing Jesus' light to shine through. It's my own ugly red light bulb, creating a dark stain on the beauty He is creating in me. Add in the shame that the enemy tweaks into something even darker and uglier, and you've got an ugly, not-so-beautiful mess. Instead of giving into those feelings, I should turn to Papa and ask Him to take them away. Honestly I try to remember to do that, but sometimes it's hard and I don't feel like it. Sometimes I want to wallow in my own misery and self destruction. Sometimes it's just easier, and that's a shame, because there's this promise:

John 16:33 says: "I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.” 

Trusting in Him, being transparent and allowing His light to shine through us... all these things lead to peace. Yes, we will still have tribulation. Yes, we will still have misery and self destruction. And yes... we will have peace, for He has already overcome the world. He already did it. It is finished. He's already forgiven us for our sins... yesterday's, today's and tomorrow's. He knows we aren't perfect and that we are going to mess up. That's why He sent us Jesus and the Holy Spirit. Apart from Father, Son and Spirit, we can do nothing. We can overcome nothing. We will get lost in translation, lost in the lies. With Him, however, we can do all things He calls us to do. He never promises us an easy ride, but He does promise it will be worth it. 

Transparency, truth and tolerance part 1

Transparency. Truth. Tolerance. These are the thoughts that have been drifting through my mind this week. It's been ups and downs and ins and outs and trying to figure out what it is that the Spirit is prompting in me. Am I not being transparent enough? Am I speaking truth? Am I being too tolerant or intolerant? What is it that I need to know here??? I don't have a clue, but I do know that I was prompted to get up and write, so here we are.

Ben has been preaching for the last few weeks at his Dad's church. After much prayer and discussion with Papa, he changed his plan to God's plan, a study of the first few chapters in Romans. He covered chapters 1-5 the first week, chapter six the second week, chapter seven last week and is taking on chapter eight this week. Tonight we were talking about what the Spirit was leading him to, and just how wonderful Romans is altogether. Romans is also one of the hardest books of the Bible to comprehend or explain.

 It's been such a joy to watch his journey as he guides the rest of us through what Papa is saying to him. We have gotten a tiny glimpse into our future.. another piece of the puzzle. You see, we know that a church plant is in our future. We just don't know any of the details yet. We know the name, we know the content, we know the community... We don't know the when, the where, or the how. We know when it is time, He will make it happen.  We know because we believe. In Him. In His promises. In His truth.

It makes me wonder... (not that I'm comparing us to them, mind you..) When the founding members of the early church were beginning their journey, what was it like for them? Did they have a clue? Were they excited? Petrified? Were they worried that they were going to mess it up? Did they feel like they were equipped to take on the challenges He had laid before them? Did they know the enemy was near or were they oblivious to his ways? Did they trust? We know the answers to some of those questions, because it's laid out in the Bible. Jesus tells his disciples that they will be hated even more than Him, but He was going before them and was sending the Holy Spirit to help them on their journey. He was guiding their every step, even if they couldn't see Him any longer. It required their trust in Him and His truth and love.

He didn't require perfection, but transparency. He didn't require a production, but truth. He didn't require personal preservation, but tolerance... the love of others. He didn't ask us all to be perfect automatons, having no personality. He also didn't ask us to go around spreading lies and hate. He asked us to be imperfect lovers of Himself and the world around us. He asked us to trust Him, to have a relationship with Him, to believe in His truths. In doing these things, He promises us this:

Romans 8:  There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. ² For the law of the Spirit of life has set you  free in Christ Jesus from the law of sin and death. ³ For God has done what the law, weakened by the flesh, could not do. By sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh and for sin, he condemned sin in the flesh, ⁴ in order that the righteous requirement of the law might be fulfilled in us, who walk not according to the flesh but according to the Spirit. ⁵ For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit set their minds on the things of the Spirit. ⁶ For to set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace. ⁷ For the mind that is set on the flesh is hostile to God, for it does not submit to God's law; indeed, it cannot. ⁸ Those who are in the flesh cannot please God.
⁹ You, however, are not in the flesh but in the Spirit, if in fact the Spirit of God dwells in you. Anyone who does not have the Spirit of Christ does not belong to him. ¹⁰ But if Christ is in you, although the body is dead because of sin, the Spirit is life because of righteousness. ¹¹ If the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead dwells in you, he who raised Christ Jesus  from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through his Spirit who dwells in you.
¹² So then, brothers, we are debtors, not to the flesh, to live according to the flesh. ¹³ For if you live according to the flesh you will die, but if by the Spirit you put to death the deeds of the body, you will live. ¹⁴ For all who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God. ¹⁵ For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry, “Abba! Father!” ¹⁶ The Spirit himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God, ¹⁷ and if children, then heirs—heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ, provided we suffer with him in order that we may also be glorified with him.
¹⁸ For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us. ¹⁹ For the creation waits with eager longing for the revealing of the sons of God. ²⁰ For the creation was subjected to futility, not willingly, but because of him who subjected it, in hope ²¹ that the creation itself will be set free from its bondage to corruption and obtain the freedom of the glory of the children of God. ²² For we know that the whole creation has been groaning together in the pains of childbirth until now. ²³ And not only the creation, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies. ²⁴ For in this hope we were saved. Now hope that is seen is not hope. For who hopes for what he sees? ²⁵ But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience.
²⁶ Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. ²⁷ And he who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God. ²⁸ And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. ²⁹ For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, in order that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. ³⁰ And those whom he predestined he also called, and those whom he called he also justified, and those whom he justified he also glorified.
³¹ What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? ³² He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things? ³³ Who shall bring any charge against God's elect? It is God who justifies. ³⁴ Who is to condemn? Christ Jesus is the one who died—more than that, who was raised—who is at the right hand of God, who indeed is interceding for us. ³⁵ Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword? ³⁶ As it is written,

“For your sake we are being killed all the day long;
    we are regarded as sheep to be slaughtered.”

³⁷ No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. ³⁸ For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, ³⁹ nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Did you catch that? No condemnation, no separation, but redemption, justification, glorification. And.... Love. The Creator of everything-- the heavens, earth, the sun, moon, stars, trees, flowers, animals, US-- LOVES US! Seeks us. Guides us. Protects us. Intercedes for us. Despite our transparency or lack thereof, despite our selfishness, despite our icky nasty... He is always there, waiting on us. Loving us. Asking us to be transparent and real, but to seek Him and that wonderfully sweet, sometimes painful relationship of a loving Papa and his children. Asking us to not hide behind a mask of perfectionism, but to share our lives with people, helping them to see what it is He is doing in our lives. Allowing them to see all of it.. the good, the bad, the ugly and everything in between. We all have that part of ourselves that we hide from other people. Papa sees it all, and loves us anyway. He wants us to drop our walls and share the hidden ick. In that hidden ick, He does His best work. He takes it all, and works it together for good. Our good, their good... His good. 

And His way is good. He is good. All the time.....

What do you believe?

There's been this little word war going on in my head today. How is it that you can confess your sins as a confessor in a confessional, but you can't be a professional professor who professes their faith? And yeah, I get that that's a funny question, and an even funnier thing to be floating around in my head, but there it is. I think of random, funny and odd things sometimes. But in the midst of my word war, something occurred to me. Our culture is so focused on the "what do you do?" question, we never ask the "what do you believe?" question. When you first meet someone, after introductions are made, what is the first thing usually asked in the getting-to-know-you stage? "What do you do?" Have you ever asked that question, "what do you believe?"?

How would I answer that question? I would say that I believe in One True God, Father, Spirit, and Son. I believe that God knew we were so broken, we couldn't stop sinning on our own, so He sent Jesus down to be FULLY man and FULLY God to save us. He led Him to the cross, where in a powerful, epic battle of good vs evil, good won. We were saved, we are saved, by the One who created us and this wonderful broken world we live in. He didn't do it because we asked Him to, or because He owed it to us, but for no other reason than He LOVES us. Can you imagine that kind of Love? We aren't talking about love, as in of a spouse, friend, or family. We are talking about the Love of a Father, Friend, Husband, Savior... something so powerful and beautiful that even in the midst of our worst days, even when we are so unbelievably selfish as to deny anything to do with a Heavenly Father, He STILL loves us.

 And what do we do in return? Well, sadly some of us get so focused on ourselves and our selfish wants and needs and gotta haves, we turn completely away from His love and plan for us. Others think they are seeking Him, only to find out in the end that they were looking at things wrong. Others will search for that Love He is offering us, willing to do whatever or go wherever He asks in order to "earn" that Love, but will miss the point of that freely given Love. Still others will find that Love, and understand that there is NOTHING we can do to "earn" it, that it is freely given from a passionate, righteous God who loves us enough to help us. They pray and seek His guidance in everything that they do or say. They welcome His Holy Spirit within and allow Him to guide them throughout the rest of their lives. Wanna know a secret? That's a long time, the rest of their lives.

You see, I also believe in heaven, and life after death. Eternal life, spent walking and talking with Our Father, the way it was in the Garden. Eternity spent learning from Him, worshiping Him, and loving Him. Close your eyes and imagine it. Heaven.... none of us know what it looks like, but we will all know as soon as we get there. I imagine it is the most beautiful, most stunning sight we will know, until the moment we lay eyes on Papa. We will see our Father with eyes that couldn't see Him before, because we weren't ready. We will sit with Him, listen to Him, know Him face to face... We will receive the full spectrum of His beauty and grace instead of a muted rendition as the world would have us believe. Well for that matter, the world doesn't want us to believe in Him, period. The world would have us believe we are all our own gods, makers of our way, winners and losers because we didn't do enough or make enough or have enough.

It's simply not true... He loves us, even in our mess. He loves us, even when we turn away. He loves us, even when we hurt Him. And we do hurt Him, every day. We seek things instead of Him. We seek people instead of Him. We seek money instead of Him. We try to find the satisfaction and love that He is offering us, everywhere but the One place to receive it. He is the ONLY way. And He designed it this way, for us. He knew we could never get there on our own, and He did it anyway. He knew we would continue to sin, and He did it anyway. He knows every step we take, either towards Him or away, and He did it anyway.

So I ask you.... What do you believe? If you don't know what to believe, it's time to ask Him. Sit with your Bible and pen and paper, and pray. Open up your Bible and ask Him to show you what to believe, and write down what He shows you. Seek His will for your life. When you allow Him to lead your life, it's a beautiful thing, and you will be so glad you did. Find that beautiful relationship He wants to have with you, and you will be blessed beyond your imagination. If you need help, speak to a friend or pastor who has that relationship, and they will encourage you and help you..  When you have a relationship with Papa, you want others to have one too. They will be glad you asked!!

* I did not post any scriptures this time, but there are so many awesome ones to help you find what you are looking for. I found Psalm 78 again, which is a great "rundown" of what Papa has done. Check it out!

His Plan, Not Mine

I was doing the dishes by hand tonight, and was remembering how much I used to enjoy doing the dishes. Squirting the soap in while the hot water runs and watching it suds up... That first moment you put your hands in the water and feel all those tiny bubbles popping, and then the shock of the hot water on your hands. Losing yourself in the mindlessness of the task at hand, getting the task accomplished, and letting your mind go. Mine usually goes to a conversation with Papa. He and I have good talks over the simplicity of washing dishes. Or I sing... I sing praise and worship Him at the top of my lungs while I work away. Whatever happened to that daily joy? Well, this handy invention called the dish washer happened. I realized loading the dishwasher annoys me. It doesn't save me any time because I have to wash the dishes before it can wash the dishes.

Huh......

This got me to thinking... How many other "conveniences" have taken away my time with Papa? What am I missing out on by having the stuff that I have? What lessons could I learn by stepping out of my comfort zone and using my hands as my tools? Allowing Queen Mel to step down from her throne and serving not myself, but the One True King. I've been on a journey for a few months now of trying not to follow MY interpretation of His plan for me, and rather focusing on HIM. I have dropped out of ministries that I thoroughly enjoyed being a part of, I have cut out 80% of my responsibilities that I chose to have, and I have stopped doing. Period. I am focusing on my family and my home. I'm seeking the Joy He is showing me that's just around the corner. Part of the journey has also been in dealing with my excess. I hadn't realized how out of control things were until I read a book and God thumped me in the head! WE HAVE TOO MUCH STUFF!!!! Our garage was full of things that I was saving for a garage sale. There was barely a path wide enough for one of the kids to get through. We were over run with toys, books, clothes, food, supplies, knick knacks, STUFF!!!! I can't walk through my house most of the time without feeling really really stressed out. In the middle of that journey, He's been talking to me about what I'm putting in my body. Candy and cokes, junk food, baking breads and cakes and cookies, pasta and red meat... Things that we thought we had made adjustments and doing ok at getting good nutrients. Little did I know... All of my health issues are directly related to the crap I put in my body and the stress of having an overstuffed house. Too much stuff, in all areas of our life.. too much doing, not enough living.

So where do I turn when I am trying to figure out what He's been saying to me? You guessed it.. The Word.

I found a few gems...

Jeremiah 33:6--  Behold, I will bring to it health and healing, and I will heal them and reveal to them abundance of prosperity and security. 

Psalm 100:2--  Serve the Lord with gladness! Come into his presence with singing!

And this one... Matthew 25:21--  His master said to him, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant. You have been faithful over a little; I will set you over much. Enter into the joy of your master.’ 

And then there's this one, that is taken wrong so many times.... Proverbs 31:27-31--   She looks well to the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her:  “Many women have done excellently, but you surpass them all.” Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain,  but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. Give her of the fruit of her hands, and let her works praise her in the gates.


I know some women won't agree with me, but I want to be a Proverbs 31 wife and mother. I haven't been anywhere close to that! (Ben and the kids may disagree with this statement, but I'm not downing myself, I have a point, so give me a chance haha!) I have been concerned with charm, with beauty and vanity. I have compared myself to other women and found myself lacking because I wasn't as "..." as they were. I have pushed myself to do more and be more and give and give and give of myself until I have left no time for the things most important to me--- My Father, my husband, and my kids. Yikes....

I haven't served my family with gladness. I have been so caught up in the stuff of the world, I have let down those closest to me. I haven't left time for them, to guide them and love them and SERVE them. But our wonderful awesome loving Savior is showing me His way. His way is less cluttered, but full of love. His way is less stressed, but prosperous. His way is making a difference already...

How did I figure all this out? It started with Sistas who speak Truth to me. You see, I had several Sistas tell me I was overdoing it. I was wearing myself out and I was missing what He was telling me. I was very upset. I thought I was doing what I was supposed to be doing. One night I was praying about it and He gave me this:

 REST-- rethink every step taken-- rethink every step (I'm) taking.. Let my steps be led by Him and Him alone, guiding me into that perfect peace only HE can give me. Renew my trust daily, and remember His way is always best. Realize that my ways are weakness personified, while His are strength personified....

I was somewhat confused, and needed more answers. Papa worked it out so that we spent an amazing weekend at Ben's moms, deep in the woods. I took a hike and came to a place that looked like the spot. I sat down, took a few deep breaths and opened my notebook. This is what He said to me:

Fork in the road, fork in the tree... It's time to make the changes I've been calling you to make. Time to put aside your ways and walk fully in mine. Time to be patient, to wait.. To serve your family as wholeheartedly as you serve others, for Me. Time to reflect, to appreciate your surroundings, the world I've set you in. It's time to let others take up their crosses and follow me, while you REST and follow me. It's time to pray, to listen. I've given you instructions, but you haven't been listening. You've still been following your own ways. I want others to see you following me, and for them to see how great my way is. The birds follow my design for them. I have a design for you too. Sit outside, be still with me. Listen to life around you. Appreciate the beauty around you. I am everywhere. In the places you go, in the faces you see. Don't be afraid to say no. Purge your life of all the excess-- stress, stuff, hurts. Let it all go. Go to work, but only once or twice a month. Stop serving everywhere else... CR, church, all your ministries.. I have other plans for Sonja and Alea. I have other plans for you. Seek me first, before saying yes to anything. Trust me to guide you in my plans. Find a place like this for your time with me.. quiet, surrounded by my creation. With Shelley, show her you love her, but let her go. Trust that I will be with her every step of the way. Be kind, treat her as a friend, not a child. Allow my Spirit to penetrate your relationship with her. Don't fill your days so full that you have no time to talk to me and miss out on what I have for you. Stop getting in your head and trying to figure it all out. Ask me. Allow me to heal you, all of you. Allow me to show you the beauty of this place, of these people around you. See everything with my eyes, not yours. See my beauty, even in the things that you see as ugly. There is beauty all around you, if you will just open your eyes to see it. Be patient with yourself. Change doesn't happen overnight. You will need my strength to get through it. You cannot do it alone. I'm asking a lot of you at once, but it WILL be worth it. My people will understand your no, because it is MY no. Remember that, and trust Me.

 So what does that mean for me? It means a whole lotta crap has been going out my doors in the last few weeks. It means I am rethinking everything... does this item really need to be here? Does this one even have a use? Do we really need 10,000 books? Or so many clothes and toys our rooms are bulging?  I am reorganizing everything in the house so that if it has a place, it can stay.. If it doesn't, out it goes. I'm eliminating stuff that's bad for us from our cabinets, and making more fresh, from scratch, hopefully organic meals. And throughout every room, every decision is to be placed before Him first. It means rethinking everything I do, and trusting that His way is the only way to live.

 How are we doing with it, you ask? Well.... I would love to say the changes have been met with open arms and that we are embracing a life style change of epic proportions. Alas, we are weak. Maybe I should capitilize that and say it again... WE ARE WEAK! We give in to our fleshy wants more than we would like to admit. Halloween happened last week... Therefore there's a metric ton of Halloween candy at my house right now. Stuff I shouldn't eat... Stuff I should just get rid of. Have I? No... Have I avoided it as much as I should? Uhmmm.... Noooooo. Not so much. Did I struggle with getting rid of dishes I love because my mother in law gave me pretty new ones? Sigh... yes, I did. For a few minutes at least, but then I remembered... Rethink everything. So I did, and everything was packed up quickly. Am I going to continue to disobey? I hope not, but I know I mess up and am tested on a daily basis....

Romans 12:12 Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer.   

James 1:2-4 Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.  

 In the meantime, I will try my best to live like this: 

Psalm 71:23 My lips will shout for joy, when I sing praises to you; my soul also, which you have redeemed. 

 You see... I also know Jesus loves me and the Holy Spirit dwells within me, and that if I will just slow down and enjoy the path He has laid before me and not try to take over... If I just trust. If I obey.... If I turn to His Word and seek only Him, He will be victorious through the changes He continues to make in me, and I will see His guidance, His love, and most of all... Him. 

If you find yourself reading this and thinking to yourself, "Hey, this is SO me!!!", I want to leave you with one last scripture. It's one of the scriptures that spoke to me, as if He whispered the words just to me. When I am in a funk of "I'm-not-worthy-I-can't-do-this-It's-too-hard!!" I remind myself of this.... 

Jeremiah 29:11-13 For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will hear you. You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart.

 He has a plan for me, and He has a plan for you, for all of us. He wants to give us hope and a future! You just have to call upon Him.. pray to Him... and He gives us this promise: HE WILL HEAR YOU. You just have to seek Him with your all of your heart... You have to love Him, and understand that He loves you... He, the Creator of all, loves you... as broken and cluttered and whatever your hangups are, HE LOVES YOU. He wants you to know that. Will you talk to Him, and find out for yourself? I certainly hope so, and that you get to experience all the Joy that He has for you....

 

 

Spiritual Warfare

I had a conversation the other day with a very good friend about spiritual warfare. You see, God is doing some amazing things in our circle, our church, and our community. But where there is Spiritual growth, there's also spiritual warfare. It got me to thinking... what is spiritual warfare? What does it look like? How do we battle it?

I looked it up, and while there's not an official Webster definition for spiritual warfare, there are several commentaries on it. The general belief is that spiritual warfare is the battle of good versus evil, a conflict between us in this realm and satan and his enemies in the spirit realm, or goodness versus darkness and wickedness. To me, it's the ongoing assault on us... one that happens day after day, whether we know it or not. It's the enemy, doing whatever he possibly can, to distract us from our goal... That goal? To love God with all our hearts, our minds, our souls... everything, all for our Savior. The second part of that is to love our neighbor... literally your next door neighbor, the teen mom down the road, the bum on the corner, the man who raped you or murdered your wife. Even that man or woman that you hate... the one who hurt you so deeply you don't know that you could ever forgive again. Even them... But we will come back to that.

What does spiritual warfare look like? Well, I think it looks different for different people, but the attempts are always the same. What does it look like for me? Financial strife, illness, guilt, and a general feeling of failure.. even when I know what I am doing is the path God has laid before me. Sometimes that guilt or failure comes in the guise of a friend or acquaintance saying something, but most of the time it is in my own head. Did she really say that? Or did he mean something else? Am I failing? Do I measure up? Does God really love me? Am I making all this up? 

You see, the enemy likes to twist things around to benefit him...  to make us second guess ourselves and our Savior. You see this from the very beginning in the Bible...  Doubt.   Look at Genesis 3:1 with me:

Now the serpent was more crafty than any other beast of the field that the Lord God had made. He said to the woman, "Did God actually say, 'You shall not eat of any tree in the garden'?"

See... Sneaky. Doubt. And we all know how that turned out. Bad stuff happened. Eve failed to see what was going on, as did Adam, and God punished them. Let's look at another time when satan tries to throw up doubt.

Then Jesus was led up by the Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted by the devil.  And after fasting forty days and forty nights, he was hungry.  And the tempter came and said to him, “If you are the Son of God, command these stones to become loaves of bread.”  But he answered, “It is written, “‘Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that comes from the mouth of God.’” Then the devil took him to the holy city and set him on the pinnacle of the temple  and said to him, “If you are the Son of God, throw yourself down, for it is written,

“‘He will command his angels concerning you,’ and “‘On their hands they will bear you up,  lest you strike your foot against a stone.’” Jesus said to him, “Again it is written, ‘You shall not put the Lord your God to the test.’” Again, the devil took him to a very high mountain and showed him all the kingdoms of the world and their glory.  And he said to him, “All these I will give you, if you will fall down and worship me.”  Then Jesus said to him, “Be gone, Satan! For it is written, “‘You shall worship the Lord your God and him only shall you serve.’” Then the devil left him, and behold, angels came and were ministering to him.

That passage can be found in Matthew 4, verses 1-11. Jesus had a very different response for satan. He knew what satan was trying to do, and countered it with the Word. He also knew He had our Father's love and that He is indeed the Son of God. He is the Word. I know it isn't that "easy" for you and me, but so does He. That's why He sent His Son, because He knows us and loves us. He knew there was no way we could do it without His help. See that last line? The devil left him and angels came and were ministering to him. The battle with satan was so hard, angels MINISTERED to Jesus! The enemy is a tough one, who knows the Word but tries to twist it to his own devices. Add to that the fact that we are natural born sinners who live in a sinful world, where God is left out of most equations, and you get a big ol mess of  a battle.

So what does spiritual warfare look like for you? Do you know what it is when it happens?  Let's go back to the Word to see what it says:

Ephesians 6:12 says,  "For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places."

 2 Corinthians 10: 3-4 says,  ^"For though we walk in the flesh, we are not waging war according to the flesh.  For the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh but have divine power to destroy strongholds.

2 Timothy 3:12 says,  "Indeed, all who desire to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted,"

Spiritual warfare is a very real, very dangerous thing. If we take it too lightly, we could stumble in our faith, and turn away from God. Hmmm... that's not exactly what I mean. If we dismiss satan and spiritual warfare, he wins. If we consider every single thing that happens and become so focused on it that we forget God, he wins. And that right there is one of his main goals. If he can prevent us from seeking Papa and direct our thoughts away from Him, he wins. If he can get us to war amongst ourselves and distract us from God, he wins. That's why God tells us repeatedly that our battle is not against flesh and blood, but spiritual forces set out to destroy our relationship with Papa. 

There's good news though:

We don't have to fight alone.

The war has already been won, but satan doesn't realize it:

I love John 16:33:: Jesus says, "I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world."

1 Peter 4:12-13 says, "Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery trial when it comes upon you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice insofar as you share Christ's sufferings, that you may also rejoice and be glad when his glory is revealed."

  

Joshua 1:9 says, "Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” 

and one more, from 1 Peter 5:8-10, "Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.  Resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same kinds of suffering are being experienced by your brotherhood throughout the world. And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you."

Can I just say that again? We don't have to fight alone!! Not only that, but Papa loves us so much, He gave us the Bible to help us in our daily battles. There are so many wonderful verses about how much He loves us, and how to prevent the enemy from getting a finger-hold on us. One of my favorites comes from Ephesians, chapter 6....

Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his might. Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil.  For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places. Therefore take up the whole armor of God,  that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand firm. Stand therefore, having fastened on the belt of truth, and having put on the breastplate of righteousness, and, as shoes for your feet, having put on the readiness given by the gospel of peace.  In all circumstances take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming darts of the evil one;  and take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God,  praying at all times in the Spirit, with all prayer and supplication. To that end keep alert with all perseverance, making supplication for all the saints,  and also for me, that words may be given to me in opening my mouth boldly to proclaim the mystery of the gospel,  for which I am an ambassador in chains, that I may declare it boldly, as I ought to speak.  

1 Timothy 6:12 says, "Fight the good fight of the faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called and about which you made the good confession in the presence of many witnesses."

James 4:7-8a says, "Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you."

So put on your armor, friends, and fight the good fight. Be strong in the Lord and in the strength of His might. For HE IS MIGHTY!! Our god is bigger and stronger and more awesome than any piddly thing the enemy can throw at us. He cannot harm us. Anything he throws at us is just a light, momentary affliction that cannot compare to the glory of eternity with Our Father! And if you are under attack, pray!!! Pray that He will deliver you from temptation, that He will keep it far away. Ask your prayer warrior friends to don their armor and join you in prayer. Ask them to pray that it be revealed to you whether your ordeal is spiritual warfare or sin. Seek Him first, always, always, always...  And if you need a reminder of how awesome our God is, read Psalm 18. It's awesome! (I started to post it here, but it is long, and sometimes we just need to open our Bibles.)  For that matter, just pray and then read your Bible! I cannot express to you how many wonderful verses there are about His love, strength, and mercy. Rest in the promises that Papa has given us. Draw near to Him, and He will draw near to you. Know that He is strong, mighty and loves you very very much. Believe in His mighty-ness, and trust Him. And through it all, love... like He loves you.

 

For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places. - See more at: http://bible.knowing-jesus.com/topics/Spiritual-Warfare,-As-Conflict#sthash.OhHxnR5t.dpuf

For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places. - See more at: http://bible.knowing-jesus.com/topics/Spiritual-Warfare,-As-Conflict#sthash.OhHxnR5t.dpuf

For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places. - See more at: http://bible.knowing-jesus.com/topics/Spiritual-Warfare,-As-Conflict#sthash.OhHxnR5t.dpuf

Forever Friends

Papa has been showing me lately how many wonderful people He has brought into my life. I am surrounded by broken, loving followers of Jesus who daily lift me up and love me even in the midst of my mess. They lovingly guide me through difficult times, and rejoice with me in beautiful times. They are the ones to speak Truth into my life. They are the ones I lean on when things are going downhill.

You know those days... All hell breaks loose and you just don't know what to do. There are so many different paths you could go down, and it seems like Papa isn't speaking to you clearly. The wrong step could lead down a very nasty path, but nothing is making sense to you. What do you do? Do you lean on your own understanding, or do you turn to your "counsel"?

I am so blessed to have a counsel  of women who epitomize these scriptures:

Proverbs 27:17 " Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another."

Proverbs 27:9 "The heartfelt counsel of a friend is as sweet as perfume and incense."

When I need help, they are there. When my world is collapsing, they are there. When I am sick, they are there. When it seems I'm all alone on this planet, they are there. They pray for me, sit with me, grieve with me, laugh with me. They are my friends, and I cannot imagine life without them.

But you know.... There's Someone who is a better friend than all of them. When I need help, He is there. When my world is collapsing, He is there. When I am sick, He is there. When it seems I'm all alone on this planet, He is there. When I am broken, He.. Is.. There. He never leaves me, even when I am running in the opposite direction from which He is directing me. He never stops loving me. He never leaves me. He is always, always, always, always there.

You see, He loves us so much, He laid down His life for us. He died. On a cross, in a horrible, awful, unimaginable way. He did that for us, because He loves us. Read this scripture, and think about how much He loves you:

John 15:13–15 says, "There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. You are my friends if you do what I command. I no longer call you slaves, because a master doesn't confide in his slaves. Now you are my friends, since I have told you everything the Father told me."

Not master and slave... friends. He wants to be our best friend, but too many times we let the world and the people of this world get in the way. We block out His whispers, and seek the counsel of the world. We hide from His plans because we are oh so certain ours are so much better. We look for satisfaction in all the wrong places....

1 Corinthians 15:33 says, "Do not be deceived: Evil company corrupts good habits."

So I ask you.... Do you live your life as a follower of the One True King? Or do you scoff at any thought of Papa loving you? Do you obey Him? Do you have a good counsel of heartfelt friends? Or are you so caught up in life, you don't have time for Him or the counsel of friends He's sent you? Look around, and then pray about what you see. Ask His forgiveness, and start building that relationship with Him. He wants us to be friends, and I think He brings us friends to show us what it should look like. Loving, uplifting, praying, broken friends who are always there, just like He is...... Forever Friends.



P.S. If you aren't blessed by a good counsel of loving Sistas, start praying for that counsel to come along side you. We can't live this life alone.. We need Him and the people He's given us! Let Him bless you with the people He has picked out for you. Let Him show you how much He loves us!

To Do Or Not To Do, That Is The Question

So it's 1:30 in the morning and I can't sleep. I've been laying in bed, reading the Bible, talking to Papa. We've had lots of conversations lately. He's convicted me to change the way I view stuff. Stuff like stress and rest, clutter and organization, being alone and being loved.

You see, I have this nasty habit. It's called overdoing it. I overdo and over think and over analyze until I'm a crazed wreck of a woman. He's been showing me how I've always been that way, and His way is different. I'm a difficult student. I don't learn my lessons easily. I have to be repeatedly thumped in the head, especially when it comes to the overdoing part of things. Once again, I have pushed myself too much. I am in pain, and it's my own fault. Why can't I learn this lesson? He specifically told me to stop: "Stop doing too much and leaving no time for Me. Stop trying to make it all work on your own. My way is easier. My way is better. My way is the ONLY way."

So why don't I get it? I'm human. I think I know everything. I always think, today... today is the day I will be able to do everything I want to get done and I will feel great. I know I shouldn't. I know that every single time I push myself too far, I suffer the consequences. I begin to hurt, and then I don't sleep, which causes the next day to be bad, and the cycle continues until I find myself stuck in bed, unable to function. Why can't I just listen the first time?

Don't get me wrong... I do rest. Just not enough, or maybe I should say often enough. But then I have days like today where I feel the need to do and do and do. I traveled to Tulsa and back the last two days, and while that is a relatively short trip, for me, it's hard. I know better than to push too hard the next day. Well, I should know better anyway... But what did I do? I "pushed through" the pain and ended up pushing too hard.

One of my sweet sistas even told me yesterday to rest today. Instead, I listened to "Queen Melissa" and cleaned part of the garage, finished up laundry, straightened up the house and sorted through the girls' clothes... then attempted to ride my bike. How many times do I have to be thumped over the head? Apparently a lot. I really should listen.

In searching my Bible tonight about rest,  I found these verses:

Hebrews 4: 9-11 “Let us therefore strive to enter that rest, so that no one may fall by the same sort of disobedience.”

Deuteronomy 28:15  "But if you will not obey the voice of the Lord your God or be careful to do all his commandments and his statutes that I command you today, then all these curses shall come upon you and overtake you."

 Ouch.... I'm being disobedient. Crap. So what do I do? I go back to The Word to find out what He says about obedience....

Luke 6:46 "Why do you call me, "Lord, Lord, and do not do what I say?"

John 14:15  “If you love me, you will keep my commandments."

James 1:22 "Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says"

Ok Papa, I'm listening. Lord please forgive me for my disobedience. Please help me to obey. Show me what I am to do each day, and I will do no more than what You ask. Thank you for showing me my sins. Thank you for forgiving me, and for bringing a wonderful family and Sweet Sistas to remind me to listen and be obedient. Help me when I stumble Lord, and lift me up out of the mire of mess I have created. Show me Your plans, and guide me through them. Thank you Papa... I love you!


So Dear Friends and Family, if you see me doing instead of resting, remind me it's a sin and I'm deceiving myself. Pray for me, that I will be obedient to His plan and stop relying on my own. And if you have to, if I don't seem to be getting it... A little thump just might be what I need.

Perfect

Are you perfect? No... no one is. Despite this fact, many of us strive for a perfection we will never reach. For most women, it's that perfect look-- hair, clothes, makeup, shoes, accessories, and weight. Or maybe it's the perfect life-- homemaker, business woman, mother, or a combination of the three. How about that perfectly clean, immaculately decorated and perfectly organized home that other women would be jealous of? Ahhh.... there it is. In seeking those "perfect" things, who are we really trying to prove our perfection to? Our peers? Our families? Ourselves? Why are we striving for things we cannot attain, things that will not make us happy after all? Why stress ourselves to the point of no return, when we don't have to?

 We live in a world where there's a constant bombardment of "buy this, you need this, you can't have a 'perfect' life without this". Enough is enough.. We don't need the world's version of perfect. We will never have that version, as it is constantly changing. Look around you. Do you REALLY need this season's "perfect" shoe? What happens next season? Oh there's a new perfect shoe! Do you REALLY need to lose those last five pounds to be perfect? Who says? The same people who decided a size two was too big? Why are we listening to the world around us?? Is the world perfect? I think not.
What is perfection anyway?

The definition states this: the condition, state, or quality of being free or as free as possible from all flaws or defects.

Huh... So being perfect is being free from defects and flaws.. Who can claim that and be telling the truth? Not a single one of us. Not one. We are all imperfect. We are all flawed. We all have those things that we hide from everyone else and hope no one ever finds out how far from perfect we are. We wear masks everywhere we go... work, church, the kids' schools and parties, even, for some of us, in our own homes. How sad is that? I have flaws and defects, people. I'm only human.

But you see, there's this One who IS perfect. He knew we were so messed up and sin had so overtaken the world, we couldn't do anything to save ourselves. There's absolutely no way. He had to send Himself, as Jesus, to save us. He had to show us just how much He loves us, because in the world around us, we are being told constantly: "You aren't worthy of love. You aren't perfect. You won't be perfect until you buy this or do that or change this thing over here." He says: "You are loved. You aren't perfect, but I am, and in my perfection, you will be saved. You will be exactly who I designed you to be, if you will just love ME."

Romans 3:23 "For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God"

Romans 6:23 says "For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Philippians 3:18-19 says "For many, of whom I have often told you and now tell you even with tears, walk as enemies of the cross of Christ. Their end is destruction, their god is their belly, and they glory in their shame, with minds set on earthly things"

We are all sinners. All of us. None of us is perfect.  The good news is, we have a Papa who loves us and is perfect. He can change us, perfect us, make us a new creation that is more than anything we could have imagined. Don't you want that? Don't you want to stop striving and stressing and reaching for those things that won't fulfill that need in you? There's only one way to fill that need, and that is with a PERSONAL, INTENTIONAL, REAL relationship with Papa. Not religion, relationship. Not perfection by the world's standards, but perfection according to the Only standard that should matter... Our loving, patiently waiting Savior.

If you don't know Him, or don't know HOW to accept the Love He already has for you, please pray. Ask Him to guide you to Him, to forgive your sins and to show you what is truth and what is lies, what is real and what is not, and most importantly, what is His definition of love. If you need someone to walk you through it, call your local pastor, a friend who shows God's love, or even message me! Papa will guide you to Him, and you will be so glad He did.

Intentionality

Do you ever have one of those days where the thoughts just keep coming and buzzing around in your head and making you all crazy and it's happening so fast you can't get them out and onto paper and it's driving you crazy cause they are just great thoughts and important and MEANT FOR SOMEONE?!?!?!? Yeah.... that's happening in my head, RIGHT NOW.....

So here I am, trying to bring some of these thoughts into focus. Thank God for prayer! I could not do any of this without a conversation with our Father first. After praying, this is what we are starting with....

Intentionality.... What does that even mean? Well I attempted to look it up to tell you guys what the good ol dictionary had to say, but apparently it's not a "real" word. Funny, since a lot of non-believers consider Jesus to not be a "real" God. So if someone says something isn't really real, does that make them right? I'm gonna have to say no.

You see, I KNOW Jesus is real. Not from anyone else's experiences, but from my own. I KNOW the difference He has made in me. I KNOW the times He has saved me... either from someone, something, or more often than not... from myself. You see, I am my own worst enemy. I destroy my own confidence. I undermine my own authority. I react instead of responding. I know what I should do... that doesn't necessarily mean I do it every time. Am I perfect? Bwahahahahaha, not by any stretch of the imagination. Fortunately, I have a Savior who IS....

I may not be a great theologian. I may not be able to reach eleventy billion people with my awe inspiring prose. I may not have all the answers. (In fact, I'm pretty sure I don't have very many answers at all. My go to response is pray about it... mainly because until I pray about it and study, I am straight up clueless!) The good news is I don't have to be. I just have to be me... Be real... And be intentional about the relationships I am currently in and pursuing.

Intentionality can't be defined by a dictionary, and that's ok. I think I get it. Intentionality is deliberately, purposefully pursuing the people around us. That would be our kids, our spouses, our family, our friends, our neighbors, our community. And I know what you are thinking.. Mel, seriously that's a lot of people, how in the world am I supposed to do that?!? Well, by the world standards, you can't. We are dealing with something supernatural here... we are dealing with God.

He is Love... He is the Love you need to pursue that many relationships deliberately and purposefully. When you have a relationship with God, you know Him, you know Jesus, and you know the Holy Spirit... Each separately and all together. God can do what we cannot. With a little prayer, we can ask God for the strength, love and direction to forgive, love and grow a relationship that may be new, broken, or wounded. With a little faith, God can heal our brokenness. With a little trust, God can create in us a love for others that wasn't there before. With a little obedience, we can share the story of God's love for us.... not because He needs us to, but because of the relationship He desires with us... and by us I mean EVERYONE. He loves us ALL.

Don't you wanna tell someone? When you have that loving relationship with Him, you do.... oh boy, you do. If you don't have that loving relationship with Him, pray. Ask Him to show you. If you need guidance, ask for that too... It'll be the best thing you've ever done.

Ginormous Huge Awesomeness

So this weekend has been spent watching the Verge 2013 conference webcast. The entire weekend. It started Friday when my sweet sista told us she would like us to tune in instead of our discussion this week. Ohhhhhh my gravy!!! Talk about awesome! A whole weekend of spiritual leaders from all over talking about what God is doing.

The most awesome thing? He's doing it everywhere. It was so awesome to hear these guys and gals talking about hospitality, discipleship, and love. Talking about the importance of relationships. The importance of sharing the story. Not just the story of the Bible, but the story of our lives... our eternal lives. These are all things that Ben and I, as well as many others within the church, are experiencing. God is moving in this dirty nasty world, and doing it the way only He can... BIG.

Big. Ginormous. Huge. Just think about it. All over the world, God is handing out invitations to what He's about to accomplish. He is instructing us, influencing us, informing us of what we are to do in order to share His awesome story with more and more people. How is He doing this?

He is asking us to get out of our comfort zones. Heck, He's asking us to get out, period. Get out. Meet people. Invite them to your home. Show them what your life looks like as a follower of Jesus. Show them love. Show them how you interact with others. Tell them your stories of God's work in your life. We all have a story. Every single one of us can relate to another person's story.. which means every one of us has a story that can be related to... What is your story? How can it help someone you don't even know? Well, you can't share it with someone new if you never leave your couch....

Or can you? Have you ever thought about sharing your story with your immediate arena of influence? That would be your family, your friends, your coworkers... Do they all know you are a believer? Why not??? It doesn't have to be beautiful. It has to be real. We are not perfect, and there is no way we can be on our own. We will not achieve perfection in this world. That's something to look forward to when we leave this world. Perfection, brought about by the only One who can make us that way.

I know what you are thinking... In this world, who can I trust to come into my home and not harm me or my family? Well... we can't put our trust in man. We can only trust One, who is so fully perfect and who loves us unlike anything we've ever experienced. You might also be thinking that we will never reach everyone. Well, you are right. WE can't, but HE can. One day every knee will bow, and every man will declare His majesty. Who's to say we can't see that in our lifetime?!? Wouldn't it be awesome to exeperience, and to know that God used you to spread His Word to this sick, sad world?

Our God can do it! Our God created everything around us, including us. Have you ever thought about that? He created all of it. Every cell, every tiny part that makes up every living thing... HE did that. He can do anything He wants. He can use my story to further His kingdom. He can use yours too...

If you want to know how that can happen, ask Him. He will show you. Just remember, when things get tough and you are under attack, that He is always with you, and if you keep praying and listening to Him, He will show you what to do. He will guide you, equip you, and speak through you. You just have to obey.......