The Glory

 I sit in pain

And pray and pray

For God to take

It all away.

But He says no,

It's not time.

That's your plan,

It's not Mine.

You must wait,

And trust My way,

Heed My call

And just obey.

My Love is true

And lightweight, too.

It's always here,

Waiting for you

To turn to Me

So that you see

The Glory

That it's meant to be.

Silence

 They say

                Silence is golden.

But why not 

                Emboldened?

You hear all you need

When the silence

                Bleeds.

The quiet drowns out 

                Every sound.

The heart beats louder

When no one's around.

You breathe in deeper...

                Directed...

                Introspective.

Your focus is greater.

The world beats in tune.

The insects and birds sing along to the groove.

You see His hand

In everything that surrounds you.

As you all breathe in 

                The glory around you. 

His grace. His mercy.

                Screaming so loud.

When you finally, finally 

               Drown out the sound. 

The Light

Admiring the light of the bright, white moon, 

My soul is stirred and I think of You...

You, who covers our darkness, our sin.

You, who shows us, time and again.. 

That there is nothing You will not do..

To prove your love, to state your truth,

To shine your light upon our face, 

To lift us up with your never-ending Grace. 

You welcome us..

Broken and torn, lost and forlorn..

Desperate for heaven but racing to hell. 

Searching, seeking, buying whatever they sell.

But You welcome us.

You, merciful Father, You! 

You shine your face upon us!

You save us in your steadfast love!

You do not shame us, berate us..

You guide us, delight in us.. 

You cover our sin....

And when we falter, when we fail .

You let us back in, again and again.

You forgive us Lord, when we don't deserve it.

You welcome us Lord, when we haven't earned it.

Just like the light of the bright, white moon, 

You cover us in bright, beautiful You. 

Sometimes I fail

Sometimes I fail.
Sometimes, in trying to help someone, I get twisted and mixed up. I don't know what to say or do, so I do nothing. Others, I make an attempt, and even as I am saying or doing something that I think will help the situation... Inside my head, I am scrambling for balance while screaming, "Oh no, what was I thinking? That was reallllly stupid!"
Sometimes I fail.
Sometimes my husband simply needs my focus and attention, but I am too busy paying attention to everything else to see what he needs. My inattention often leads to conflict. Conflict leads to a whole host of negative things... The biggest of which is the enemy joining me in my head and turning it into his playground. If I give in to his antics, I'm gonna fail every time.
Sometimes I fail.
Sometimes I forget to give grace and mercy, and to do all things in love. I'm trying to teach tweens a hard lesson at a hard age, in a world that is seriously lacking in these things. Sometimes, in trying to get through to them, I do the very things I want them to stop doing. I raise my voice and yell to get above the noise, while inside my head, I'm thinking, "Dang it, I don't want to do this. Why do I DO this?"
Sometimes I fail.
Sometimes I am too focused on the negativity of the world, and less on the positivity of His presence in it. Yes, things are awful right now, but none of it is a surprise to Him. Plus, He's already at work in the situation. Most of all, I have found that in the midst of chaos, you find Him, waiting, offering peace. He knows what we need when things are falling down around us, and what we need more than anything is Him. He comforts and quiets my soul when the world is spinning out of control.
Sometimes I fail.
Sometimes I forget that in all my failures, He still loves me. He still walks with me through it. He may not keep me from experiencing the consequences of my choices, but He will guide me through it lovingly. I fail Him often, but He never fails me. Not once. Even if I cannot see the good in a situation, He can and does. It may not look to you or me right now as good, but He sees things we can't see, and knows things we don't know. He knows what will come when we trust Him. He knows He loves us, and He is just waiting on us to realize that. He knows we are His.
Sometimes I fail, but He never does.

Your Grace

Kids are dying,
Mommas are crying,
Lives are lost,
And at what cost?
Hearts are broken.
Words, unspoken.
The world's gone mad,
Lost what we had.
What went wrong?
We aren't alone,
But we stopped praying,
Began constantly saying..
God's not real!
Get outta here
with that crazy mess,
I know best.
I'll live my life,
Beat my kids and wife.
Don't tell me lies,
Cause I will rise,
Stand on my own,
A king on his throne,
And be the man I wanna be.
Lord, oh Lord, why can't we see?
You're here, You're there,
You're EVERYWHERE.
Showing us grace,
You took our place.
Showing us love,
You came from above,
To earth to dwell.
You came here
To make us well.
You draw us near
and teach us to hear
Your beautiful voice,
Above all the noise.
You hold our hand
And help us to stand,
When we're crumbling,
              Stumbling..
Falling to our knees.
You call us friend
And help us mend.
Helping us see
You're what we need.
Father, Son, Holy Spirit,
Oh, my Father,
Let me hear it!
"Well done, my child,
Come sit with me awhile,
And I will show you how
Everything led to now.
You, here with me.
        Together...
Always and forever,
We will be."
I yearn for that day,
But for now I'll say..
We have to repent
Before our life is spent.
We have to realize
The world is full of lies...
But also love and laughter,
And the promise of ever after.
I look forward to the day
I see your beautiful face,
Where I will say
Thank you for your grace.

Focus

Today we got the news that on-site school for our state is over for the year, but online school will continue. The kids are so bummed. They love going to school and seeing their friends and favorite teachers. We've prepped them for this possibility, but it's still hard for them. They will have a successful school year, and we are doing what we can to have some fun too. We are doing our best to stay positive, while reminding them that it's okay to be upset about this.
There are so many families that aren't feeling very positive about this, whatsoever. Some kids are going hungry. Some kids are being abused. Some parents are breaking down, and some are breaking up. Jobs and homes will be, and in some cases, already are, lost. Some parents are still working, (in some cases, more than full time)...  Then coming home absolutely exhausted, only to turn into teacher as well as parent.
Some teachers, principals and support staff are completely devastated that they will not see their kids, while at the same time trying to provide a solid education for them... And while simultaneously trying to teach their own children.
Doctors and nurses are sleeping away from their families if they can. If they can't, they are doing everything they can to protect them and minimize their exposure. Everyone is doing the best that they can in a situation no one understands.
This is so hard on so many people, for so many reasons. It's a time that will grow us all, one way or another. We will learn who we are and what we stand for. We will learn how to refocus our vision onto new things, and hopefully, onto His things.
My mother in law has been teaching me about non-locality connections for a while now, and I love this:

If we are all connected to the Spirit, then we are all connected through the Spirit.

We often cannot be together, but that doesn't mean we're not connected. If our focus is on Him, He will guide our prayers to those who need Him. He will prompt us to use our gifts to help someone or encourage them. There are many things that we have no control or power over, but He does! Yes, there are many things in this world that break our hearts and His, but no matter what, He brings about good. He gives us a little nudge to pray a little harder or serve in some way. Just because we can't look them in the eye right now doesn't mean we can't show someone love. We need each other, now, more than ever. We need Him, now, more than ever. We can love with non-locality just as much as we can in person.
Reach out to the person you've thought of while reading this. Let them know that you are thinking of them, and that you care. Pray for them. Let me know, and I'll pray too! Together, we can join Him in their battles.

In the Blink of an Eye

In the blink of an eye,
Everything changes.
We reach for the stars,
Ignoring the strangest
Signs and symbols that
Show us the Way,
That teach us, and help us,
Come what may.
They lead us to truth,
They lead us to love.
They lead us to hope,
All sent from above.
Now we sit "alone",
Safe in our homes,
Praying He hears us,
Praying He comes.
Knowing this world
Doesn't want to see
The goodness that comes
From the love that He
Faithfully,
Painfully,
Lovingly gave.
Giving his all,
Straight to the grave.
Arising and showing
The Glory of Christ,
And in doing so,
Brought us all back to life.