So I know titling these part one and two is going to be a bit confusing, seeing as how this one is going to go in a slightly different path. That's how this works for me though. He gives me an idea, and we bat it back and forth as He shows me what He wants me to know. And I'll admit it. I'm stubborn, and don't always listen... or always want to listen. This is one of those times. He's given me some hard truths lately. Things I didn't want to know about myself, and I sure as heck didn't want to deal with them. Ugh. Can we just bypass this part of the growth thing and go on to better, more fun times??? Please?
And that's where I've been lately. In a funk. I wrote this two weeks ago:
Transparency and Truth... these are thoughts in my head tonight. It's been a rough week, and if I'm being honest with myself as well, it's been rough for a while now. Spiritually there's been growth, but I've felt this blockage for a while and have been struggling with it. Physically, it's been the dumps, and I've been in the dumps. Emotionally, there's been a veil of sorts... Not there all the time, but at times... almost a numbness of sorts. It's been strange and I've been strange.
Two weeks ago. I've had some awesome stuff happen these last two weeks. I've written more than I have all year. I've been feeling better, sort of. If you disregard that cold I got that keeps hanging on and the stomach bug that kept everyone home this week. Our daughter Alaia, turned 8 and made an amazing dinner with daddy for our first ever, "Birthday Chef" birthday event. Ben taught two awesome sermons, and we got a preview of The Fringe worship team. They were awesome too, and we are so excited for the future! We got the Word that adoption is in our future... The future looks awesome.
But right now? Right now I'm struggling. I'm clinging to Him in desperation, because I'm finding it hard to hang on. I was just starting to feel better... less pain in my body and more energy, something I hadn't felt in a while. Bam. I got knocked on my butt by a cold. Just beginning to get over that and Whap! Stomach bug. (And add to that the Mom of the Year award for sending my kids to school on Tuesday, thinking they were better, only to have them puking right along with me that very night. Awesome.) Ben and I have reconnected on a spiritual level in the last two weeks. Something we were both missing very much. Tonight was the first night we've gotten to talk since Sunday, and that was spotty because of puking kiddo number one. I want a clean, organized house. He's told me to do it. Around here, though, it's seriously two steps forward, three back. Just when I think I've got it, it slips away again and I'm surrounded by chaos. I keep trying to quit smoking.. I will think this is the time, this is it, I'm done, and boom.... I'm trying to be healthy and it's hard.
Do you see the problem in all of that? I... I.. I. I am the problem. I want to be in control SOOOO BAD!!!! It's a sickness. It's the enemy. It's sin. It's sin eating away at me, and the enemy poking his little stick at it and stirring it up and stirring me up into a mess of control seeking chaos. And telling myself that it's ok that I want control of this, I should take care of this because it's a little thing. And besides, I gave Him the church, didn't I? Oh and moving.. gave Him that one too. And definitely our future son, cause there's no way we could do that without Him... He's the one who told us we were doing that in the first place. So yeah, I'm gonna handle this one, OK? I've got it under contr.... Oh wait....
Romans 7: 18-19 says:
For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I
have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it
out. For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing.
Yeah. The truth is, I can't get it under control. Everything I try to handle on my own turns out wrong. When I let go of things, they work out. Each and every time.. Not because I'm in control, but because He's in control. He gave us the Holy Spirit to guide us. Even when we are unable to speak, the Spirit can speak for us..
Romans 8:26 says: Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words.
Over the last few days, the Spirit has been interceding for me, and has been showing me that He is. I've had people give me hope and love. I've had articles posted on facebook that spoke directly to some things on my heart. I've been in talks with Him more than usual. I've had friends and sistas text and call and just say hey, I love you. He's been showing me His love all around me. He knew what I needed, even if I didn't.
Matthew 6: 25-34: “Therefore I tell you, do
not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will
drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than
food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. But
if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.“Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.
Ok, ok. ok... I get it! No... I do actually love it when He shows me in the Bible where He's made a promise. He's been in charge for a lot longer than I've even dreamed of being in existence. I have to let go. He's got this. I don't have to maintain that white knuckled control I try to keep, even when I don't realize I'm trying to keep it. I have to take "me" out of it and let Him do what He's doing.
Sigh... I would love to say, eureka, I've got it, I can do this. But let's be realistic. I'm still a messy ol selfish sinner.... no matter how hard I try to change, I'm gonna mess up. The truth is, He knows that too. He knows we can't do it without Him. That's why He sent Jesus and the Holy Spirit. We are a sinful mess, folks, and He loves us so much He gives us grace...
2 Corinthians, 12:9... one of my favorites: But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is
made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly
of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.
So I'm boasting yall... I'm weak, I mess up... I get angry, I get sad, I get in a funk. I make mistakes on a daily basis, and sometimes I just don't feel like being happy. When you see me like that, pray for me. Point me back in the right direction. Remind me that His grace is sufficient, and His power is made perfect in my weakness... And I promise, if I see you in the same boat, I'll do the same for you.. We will weather this storm together :)
Wednesday, November 20, 2013
Saturday, November 16, 2013
Transparency
In the light of transparency, I have some things to share with you. It amazes me every single time I sit down to write. This is not something I ever thought I would do. I dreamed of being a writer when I was a little girl... or a proofreader. Haha what can I say? I love to read, I read ridiculously fast, and I like to edit things. Which is really funny if you have been following my blog, because I don't worry so much about punctuation and correct sentence structure. I just let what flows through come out. I digress though.
Transparency... What do you think of when you read that word? I always think of those old projector things they had when were in school. You put the clear transparency on this lighted thingy and it projected it onto the wall. I also think of something being clear, easy to see through. I had never really thought too hard about it until this week. Upon looking up the meaning of transparency, I was prompted with a thought....
Transparency... What do you think of when you read that word? I always think of those old projector things they had when were in school. You put the clear transparency on this lighted thingy and it projected it onto the wall. I also think of something being clear, easy to see through. I had never really thought too hard about it until this week. Upon looking up the meaning of transparency, I was prompted with a thought....
If transparency is being clear, easy to see through, what is it that people should see? They should see Jesus' light shining through us. They should see a clear outline of ourselves, but that beautiful Holy Spirit encompassing us as well as all that we do. So what does that look like?
Isaiah 60 1-3 says: Arise, shine, for your light has come,
and the glory of the Lord has risen upon you.
and the glory of the Lord has risen upon you.
For behold, darkness shall cover the earth,
and thick darkness the peoples;
but the Lord will arise upon you,
and his glory will be seen upon you.
and thick darkness the peoples;
but the Lord will arise upon you,
and his glory will be seen upon you.
And nations shall come to your light,
and kings to the brightness of your rising.
and kings to the brightness of your rising.
John 1 1-5 says: In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was in the beginning with God. All things were made through him, and without him was not any thing made that was made. In him was life, and the life was the light of men. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.
You see the light isn't of our own making. He is the Light. When you see me, you should see Him. Everything I do should be a reflection of Him. You shouldn't see me and what I can do, but Him and what He can do. Apart from Him, I can do nothing. With Him, I can do whatever He calls me to do. Take note of that... not whatever I want to do, but what HE wants me to do.
When I let my own sinful wants and needs get in the way of what He wants me to do, I am holding up progress. I am keeping the work from being completed in me... not because He can't change me, but because I don't want to be changed. It may be conscious or subconscious. It might be the enemy whispering in my ear and me believing whatever lie he has told me. It doesn't take much to get me off track, sad to say. However, I know there is grace, and that He will pull me back on track when I let go of the wheel. The hardest part for me is letting go of the wheel. I am so accustomed to doing what needs doing whenever it needs doing. I take what He tells me and run with it.. usually leaving Him behind, telling me to wait on Him. To follow Him, not my misunderstanding of what it is He wants from me. There's this song that says something about being a sinner, getting caught up in words and tangled in lies. I do that. I get caught up in words. I get lost in the lies. I take what I think He's said to me and run with it, or I get so caught up in the trees, I miss the forest.
I lie to myself and others about how I'm doing, what I'm thinking. I miss the little things, and I hide my true feelings. Sometimes I'm not feeling very friendly and happy. Sometimes it's a struggle to find something to be joyful about. Sometimes life here just sucks. Sometimes I get depressed, sad, mad, angry, hurt, mean, ugly... When those things are happening, it's not transparency, allowing Jesus' light to shine through. It's my own ugly red light bulb, creating a dark stain on the beauty He is creating in me. Add in the shame that the enemy tweaks into something even darker and uglier, and you've got an ugly, not-so-beautiful mess. Instead of giving into those feelings, I should turn to Papa and ask Him to take them away. Honestly I try to remember to do that, but sometimes it's hard and I don't feel like it. Sometimes I want to wallow in my own misery and self destruction. Sometimes it's just easier, and that's a shame, because there's this promise:
John 16:33 says: "I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.”
Trusting in Him, being transparent and allowing His light to shine through us... all these things lead to peace. Yes, we will still have tribulation. Yes, we will still have misery and self destruction. And yes... we will have peace, for He has already overcome the world. He already did it. It is finished. He's already forgiven us for our sins... yesterday's, today's and tomorrow's. He knows we aren't perfect and that we are going to mess up. That's why He sent us Jesus and the Holy Spirit. Apart from Father, Son and Spirit, we can do nothing. We can overcome nothing. We will get lost in translation, lost in the lies. With Him, however, we can do all things He calls us to do. He never promises us an easy ride, but He does promise it will be worth it.
Transparency, truth and tolerance part 1
Transparency. Truth. Tolerance. These are the thoughts that have been drifting through my mind this week. It's been ups and downs and ins and outs and trying to figure out what it is that the Spirit is prompting in me. Am I not being transparent enough? Am I speaking truth? Am I being too tolerant or intolerant? What is it that I need to know here??? I don't have a clue, but I do know that I was prompted to get up and write, so here we are.
Ben has been preaching for the last few weeks at his Dad's church. After much prayer and discussion with Papa, he changed his plan to God's plan, a study of the first few chapters in Romans. He covered chapters 1-5 the first week, chapter six the second week, chapter seven last week and is taking on chapter eight this week. Tonight we were talking about what the Spirit was leading him to, and just how wonderful Romans is altogether. Romans is also one of the hardest books of the Bible to comprehend or explain.
It's been such a joy to watch his journey as he guides the rest of us through what Papa is saying to him. We have gotten a tiny glimpse into our future.. another piece of the puzzle. You see, we know that a church plant is in our future. We just don't know any of the details yet. We know the name, we know the content, we know the community... We don't know the when, the where, or the how. We know when it is time, He will make it happen. We know because we believe. In Him. In His promises. In His truth.
It makes me wonder... (not that I'm comparing us to them, mind you..) When the founding members of the early church were beginning their journey, what was it like for them? Did they have a clue? Were they excited? Petrified? Were they worried that they were going to mess it up? Did they feel like they were equipped to take on the challenges He had laid before them? Did they know the enemy was near or were they oblivious to his ways? Did they trust? We know the answers to some of those questions, because it's laid out in the Bible. Jesus tells his disciples that they will be hated even more than Him, but He was going before them and was sending the Holy Spirit to help them on their journey. He was guiding their every step, even if they couldn't see Him any longer. It required their trust in Him and His truth and love.
He didn't require perfection, but transparency. He didn't require a production, but truth. He didn't require personal preservation, but tolerance... the love of others. He didn't ask us all to be perfect automatons, having no personality. He also didn't ask us to go around spreading lies and hate. He asked us to be imperfect lovers of Himself and the world around us. He asked us to trust Him, to have a relationship with Him, to believe in His truths. In doing these things, He promises us this:
Romans 8: There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. 2 For the law of the Spirit of life has set you free in Christ Jesus from the law of sin and death. 3 For God has done what the law, weakened by the flesh, could not do. By sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh and for sin, he condemned sin in the flesh, 4 in order that the righteous requirement of the law might be fulfilled in us, who walk not according to the flesh but according to the Spirit. 5 For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit set their minds on the things of the Spirit. 6 For to set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace. 7 For the mind that is set on the flesh is hostile to God, for it does not submit to God's law; indeed, it cannot. 8 Those who are in the flesh cannot please God.
9 You, however, are not in the flesh but in the Spirit, if in fact the Spirit of God dwells in you. Anyone who does not have the Spirit of Christ does not belong to him. 10 But if Christ is in you, although the body is dead because of sin, the Spirit is life because of righteousness. 11 If the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead dwells in you, he who raised Christ Jesus from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through his Spirit who dwells in you.
12 So then, brothers, we are debtors, not to the flesh, to live according to the flesh. 13 For if you live according to the flesh you will die, but if by the Spirit you put to death the deeds of the body, you will live. 14 For all who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God. 15 For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry, “Abba! Father!” 16 The Spirit himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God, 17 and if children, then heirs—heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ, provided we suffer with him in order that we may also be glorified with him.
18 For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us. 19 For the creation waits with eager longing for the revealing of the sons of God. 20 For the creation was subjected to futility, not willingly, but because of him who subjected it, in hope 21 that the creation itself will be set free from its bondage to corruption and obtain the freedom of the glory of the children of God. 22 For we know that the whole creation has been groaning together in the pains of childbirth until now. 23 And not only the creation, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies. 24 For in this hope we were saved. Now hope that is seen is not hope. For who hopes for what he sees? 25 But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience.
26 Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. 27 And he who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God. 28 And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. 29 For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, in order that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. 30 And those whom he predestined he also called, and those whom he called he also justified, and those whom he justified he also glorified.
31 What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? 32 He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things? 33 Who shall bring any charge against God's elect? It is God who justifies. 34 Who is to condemn? Christ Jesus is the one who died—more than that, who was raised—who is at the right hand of God, who indeed is interceding for us. 35 Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword? 36 As it is written,
Ben has been preaching for the last few weeks at his Dad's church. After much prayer and discussion with Papa, he changed his plan to God's plan, a study of the first few chapters in Romans. He covered chapters 1-5 the first week, chapter six the second week, chapter seven last week and is taking on chapter eight this week. Tonight we were talking about what the Spirit was leading him to, and just how wonderful Romans is altogether. Romans is also one of the hardest books of the Bible to comprehend or explain.
It's been such a joy to watch his journey as he guides the rest of us through what Papa is saying to him. We have gotten a tiny glimpse into our future.. another piece of the puzzle. You see, we know that a church plant is in our future. We just don't know any of the details yet. We know the name, we know the content, we know the community... We don't know the when, the where, or the how. We know when it is time, He will make it happen. We know because we believe. In Him. In His promises. In His truth.
It makes me wonder... (not that I'm comparing us to them, mind you..) When the founding members of the early church were beginning their journey, what was it like for them? Did they have a clue? Were they excited? Petrified? Were they worried that they were going to mess it up? Did they feel like they were equipped to take on the challenges He had laid before them? Did they know the enemy was near or were they oblivious to his ways? Did they trust? We know the answers to some of those questions, because it's laid out in the Bible. Jesus tells his disciples that they will be hated even more than Him, but He was going before them and was sending the Holy Spirit to help them on their journey. He was guiding their every step, even if they couldn't see Him any longer. It required their trust in Him and His truth and love.
He didn't require perfection, but transparency. He didn't require a production, but truth. He didn't require personal preservation, but tolerance... the love of others. He didn't ask us all to be perfect automatons, having no personality. He also didn't ask us to go around spreading lies and hate. He asked us to be imperfect lovers of Himself and the world around us. He asked us to trust Him, to have a relationship with Him, to believe in His truths. In doing these things, He promises us this:
Romans 8: There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. 2 For the law of the Spirit of life has set you free in Christ Jesus from the law of sin and death. 3 For God has done what the law, weakened by the flesh, could not do. By sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh and for sin, he condemned sin in the flesh, 4 in order that the righteous requirement of the law might be fulfilled in us, who walk not according to the flesh but according to the Spirit. 5 For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit set their minds on the things of the Spirit. 6 For to set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace. 7 For the mind that is set on the flesh is hostile to God, for it does not submit to God's law; indeed, it cannot. 8 Those who are in the flesh cannot please God.
9 You, however, are not in the flesh but in the Spirit, if in fact the Spirit of God dwells in you. Anyone who does not have the Spirit of Christ does not belong to him. 10 But if Christ is in you, although the body is dead because of sin, the Spirit is life because of righteousness. 11 If the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead dwells in you, he who raised Christ Jesus from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through his Spirit who dwells in you.
12 So then, brothers, we are debtors, not to the flesh, to live according to the flesh. 13 For if you live according to the flesh you will die, but if by the Spirit you put to death the deeds of the body, you will live. 14 For all who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God. 15 For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry, “Abba! Father!” 16 The Spirit himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God, 17 and if children, then heirs—heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ, provided we suffer with him in order that we may also be glorified with him.
18 For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us. 19 For the creation waits with eager longing for the revealing of the sons of God. 20 For the creation was subjected to futility, not willingly, but because of him who subjected it, in hope 21 that the creation itself will be set free from its bondage to corruption and obtain the freedom of the glory of the children of God. 22 For we know that the whole creation has been groaning together in the pains of childbirth until now. 23 And not only the creation, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies. 24 For in this hope we were saved. Now hope that is seen is not hope. For who hopes for what he sees? 25 But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience.
26 Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. 27 And he who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God. 28 And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. 29 For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, in order that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. 30 And those whom he predestined he also called, and those whom he called he also justified, and those whom he justified he also glorified.
31 What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? 32 He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things? 33 Who shall bring any charge against God's elect? It is God who justifies. 34 Who is to condemn? Christ Jesus is the one who died—more than that, who was raised—who is at the right hand of God, who indeed is interceding for us. 35 Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword? 36 As it is written,
“For your sake we are being killed all the day long;
we are regarded as sheep to be slaughtered.”
we are regarded as sheep to be slaughtered.”
37 No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. 38 For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, 39 nor
height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to
separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Did you catch that? No condemnation, no separation, but redemption, justification, glorification. And.... Love. The Creator of everything-- the heavens, earth, the sun, moon, stars, trees, flowers, animals, US-- LOVES US! Seeks us. Guides us. Protects us. Intercedes for us. Despite our transparency or lack thereof, despite our selfishness, despite our icky nasty... He is always there, waiting on us. Loving us. Asking us to be transparent and real, but to seek Him and that wonderfully sweet, sometimes painful relationship of a loving Papa and his children. Asking us to not hide behind a mask of perfectionism, but to share our lives with people, helping them to see what it is He is doing in our lives. Allowing them to see all of it.. the good, the bad, the ugly and everything in between. We all have that part of ourselves that we hide from other people. Papa sees it all, and loves us anyway. He wants us to drop our walls and share the hidden ick. In that hidden ick, He does His best work. He takes it all, and works it together for good. Our good, their good... His good.
And His way is good. He is good. All the time.....
Friday, November 8, 2013
What do you believe?
There's been this little word war going on in my head today. How is it that you can confess your sins as a confessor in a confessional, but you can't be a professional professor who professes their faith? And yeah, I get that that's a funny question, and an even funnier thing to be floating around in my head, but there it is. I think of random, funny and odd things sometimes. But in the midst of my word war, something occurred to me. Our culture is so focused on the "what do you do?" question, we never ask the "what do you believe?" question. When you first meet someone, after introductions are made, what is the first thing usually asked in the getting-to-know-you stage? "What do you do?" Have you ever asked that question, "what do you believe?"?
How would I answer that question? I would say that I believe in One True God, Father, Spirit, and Son. I believe that God knew we were so broken, we couldn't stop sinning on our own, so He sent Jesus down to be FULLY man and FULLY God to save us. He led Him to the cross, where in a powerful, epic battle of good vs evil, good won. We were saved, we are saved, by the One who created us and this wonderful broken world we live in. He didn't do it because we asked Him to, or because He owed it to us, but for no other reason than He LOVES us. Can you imagine that kind of Love? We aren't talking about love, as in of a spouse, friend, or family. We are talking about the Love of a Father, Friend, Husband, Savior... something so powerful and beautiful that even in the midst of our worst days, even when we are so unbelievably selfish as to deny anything to do with a Heavenly Father, He STILL loves us.
And what do we do in return? Well, sadly some of us get so focused on ourselves and our selfish wants and needs and gotta haves, we turn completely away from His love and plan for us. Others think they are seeking Him, only to find out in the end that they were looking at things wrong. Others will search for that Love He is offering us, willing to do whatever or go wherever He asks in order to "earn" that Love, but will miss the point of that freely given Love. Still others will find that Love, and understand that there is NOTHING we can do to "earn" it, that it is freely given from a passionate, righteous God who loves us enough to help us. They pray and seek His guidance in everything that they do or say. They welcome His Holy Spirit within and allow Him to guide them throughout the rest of their lives. Wanna know a secret? That's a long time, the rest of their lives.
You see, I also believe in heaven, and life after death. Eternal life, spent walking and talking with Our Father, the way it was in the Garden. Eternity spent learning from Him, worshiping Him, and loving Him. Close your eyes and imagine it. Heaven.... none of us know what it looks like, but we will all know as soon as we get there. I imagine it is the most beautiful, most stunning sight we will know, until the moment we lay eyes on Papa. We will see our Father with eyes that couldn't see Him before, because we weren't ready. We will sit with Him, listen to Him, know Him face to face... We will receive the full spectrum of His beauty and grace instead of a muted rendition as the world would have us believe. Well for that matter, the world doesn't want us to believe in Him, period. The world would have us believe we are all our own gods, makers of our way, winners and losers because we didn't do enough or make enough or have enough.
It's simply not true... He loves us, even in our mess. He loves us, even when we turn away. He loves us, even when we hurt Him. And we do hurt Him, every day. We seek things instead of Him. We seek people instead of Him. We seek money instead of Him. We try to find the satisfaction and love that He is offering us, everywhere but the One place to receive it. He is the ONLY way. And He designed it this way, for us. He knew we could never get there on our own, and He did it anyway. He knew we would continue to sin, and He did it anyway. He knows every step we take, either towards Him or away, and He did it anyway.
So I ask you.... What do you believe? If you don't know what to believe, it's time to ask Him. Sit with your Bible and pen and paper, and pray. Open up your Bible and ask Him to show you what to believe, and write down what He shows you. Seek His will for your life. When you allow Him to lead your life, it's a beautiful thing, and you will be so glad you did. Find that beautiful relationship He wants to have with you, and you will be blessed beyond your imagination. If you need help, speak to a friend or pastor who has that relationship, and they will encourage you and help you.. When you have a relationship with Papa, you want others to have one too. They will be glad you asked!!
* I did not post any scriptures this time, but there are so many awesome ones to help you find what you are looking for. I found Psalm 78 again, which is a great "rundown" of what Papa has done. Check it out!
How would I answer that question? I would say that I believe in One True God, Father, Spirit, and Son. I believe that God knew we were so broken, we couldn't stop sinning on our own, so He sent Jesus down to be FULLY man and FULLY God to save us. He led Him to the cross, where in a powerful, epic battle of good vs evil, good won. We were saved, we are saved, by the One who created us and this wonderful broken world we live in. He didn't do it because we asked Him to, or because He owed it to us, but for no other reason than He LOVES us. Can you imagine that kind of Love? We aren't talking about love, as in of a spouse, friend, or family. We are talking about the Love of a Father, Friend, Husband, Savior... something so powerful and beautiful that even in the midst of our worst days, even when we are so unbelievably selfish as to deny anything to do with a Heavenly Father, He STILL loves us.
And what do we do in return? Well, sadly some of us get so focused on ourselves and our selfish wants and needs and gotta haves, we turn completely away from His love and plan for us. Others think they are seeking Him, only to find out in the end that they were looking at things wrong. Others will search for that Love He is offering us, willing to do whatever or go wherever He asks in order to "earn" that Love, but will miss the point of that freely given Love. Still others will find that Love, and understand that there is NOTHING we can do to "earn" it, that it is freely given from a passionate, righteous God who loves us enough to help us. They pray and seek His guidance in everything that they do or say. They welcome His Holy Spirit within and allow Him to guide them throughout the rest of their lives. Wanna know a secret? That's a long time, the rest of their lives.
You see, I also believe in heaven, and life after death. Eternal life, spent walking and talking with Our Father, the way it was in the Garden. Eternity spent learning from Him, worshiping Him, and loving Him. Close your eyes and imagine it. Heaven.... none of us know what it looks like, but we will all know as soon as we get there. I imagine it is the most beautiful, most stunning sight we will know, until the moment we lay eyes on Papa. We will see our Father with eyes that couldn't see Him before, because we weren't ready. We will sit with Him, listen to Him, know Him face to face... We will receive the full spectrum of His beauty and grace instead of a muted rendition as the world would have us believe. Well for that matter, the world doesn't want us to believe in Him, period. The world would have us believe we are all our own gods, makers of our way, winners and losers because we didn't do enough or make enough or have enough.
It's simply not true... He loves us, even in our mess. He loves us, even when we turn away. He loves us, even when we hurt Him. And we do hurt Him, every day. We seek things instead of Him. We seek people instead of Him. We seek money instead of Him. We try to find the satisfaction and love that He is offering us, everywhere but the One place to receive it. He is the ONLY way. And He designed it this way, for us. He knew we could never get there on our own, and He did it anyway. He knew we would continue to sin, and He did it anyway. He knows every step we take, either towards Him or away, and He did it anyway.
So I ask you.... What do you believe? If you don't know what to believe, it's time to ask Him. Sit with your Bible and pen and paper, and pray. Open up your Bible and ask Him to show you what to believe, and write down what He shows you. Seek His will for your life. When you allow Him to lead your life, it's a beautiful thing, and you will be so glad you did. Find that beautiful relationship He wants to have with you, and you will be blessed beyond your imagination. If you need help, speak to a friend or pastor who has that relationship, and they will encourage you and help you.. When you have a relationship with Papa, you want others to have one too. They will be glad you asked!!
* I did not post any scriptures this time, but there are so many awesome ones to help you find what you are looking for. I found Psalm 78 again, which is a great "rundown" of what Papa has done. Check it out!
Tuesday, November 5, 2013
His Plan, Not Mine
I was doing the dishes by hand tonight, and was remembering how much I used to enjoy doing the dishes. Squirting the soap in while the hot water runs and watching it suds up... That first moment you put your hands in the water and feel all those tiny bubbles popping, and then the shock of the hot water on your hands. Losing yourself in the mindlessness of the task at hand, getting the task accomplished, and letting your mind go. Mine usually goes to a conversation with Papa. He and I have good talks over the simplicity of washing dishes. Or I sing... I sing praise and worship Him at the top of my lungs while I work away. Whatever happened to that daily joy? Well, this handy invention called the dish washer happened. I realized loading the dishwasher annoys me. It doesn't save me any time because I have to wash the dishes before it can wash the dishes.
Huh......
This got me to thinking... How many other "conveniences" have taken away my time with Papa? What am I missing out on by having the stuff that I have? What lessons could I learn by stepping out of my comfort zone and using my hands as my tools? Allowing Queen Mel to step down from her throne and serving not myself, but the One True King. I've been on a journey for a few months now of trying not to follow MY interpretation of His plan for me, and rather focusing on HIM. I have dropped out of ministries that I thoroughly enjoyed being a part of, I have cut out 80% of my responsibilities that I chose to have, and I have stopped doing. Period. I am focusing on my family and my home. I'm seeking the Joy He is showing me that's just around the corner. Part of the journey has also been in dealing with my excess. I hadn't realized how out of control things were until I read a book and God thumped me in the head! WE HAVE TOO MUCH STUFF!!!! Our garage was full of things that I was saving for a garage sale. There was barely a path wide enough for one of the kids to get through. We were over run with toys, books, clothes, food, supplies, knick knacks, STUFF!!!! I can't walk through my house most of the time without feeling really really stressed out. In the middle of that journey, He's been talking to me about what I'm putting in my body. Candy and cokes, junk food, baking breads and cakes and cookies, pasta and red meat... Things that we thought we had made adjustments and doing ok at getting good nutrients. Little did I know... All of my health issues are directly related to the crap I put in my body and the stress of having an overstuffed house. Too much stuff, in all areas of our life.. too much doing, not enough living.
So where do I turn when I am trying to figure out what He's been saying to me? You guessed it.. The Word.
I found a few gems...
Jeremiah 33:6-- Behold, I will bring to it health and healing, and I will heal them and reveal to them abundance of prosperity and security.
Psalm 100:2-- Serve the Lord with gladness! Come into his presence with singing!
And this one... Matthew 25:21-- His master said to him, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant. You have been faithful over a little; I will set you over much. Enter into the joy of your master.’
And then there's this one, that is taken wrong so many times.... Proverbs 31:27-31-- She looks well to the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: “Many women have done excellently, but you surpass them all.” Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. Give her of the fruit of her hands, and let her works praise her in the gates.
I know some women won't agree with me, but I want to be a Proverbs 31 wife and mother. I haven't been anywhere close to that! (Ben and the kids may disagree with this statement, but I'm not downing myself, I have a point, so give me a chance haha!) I have been concerned with charm, with beauty and vanity. I have compared myself to other women and found myself lacking because I wasn't as "..." as they were. I have pushed myself to do more and be more and give and give and give of myself until I have left no time for the things most important to me--- My Father, my husband, and my kids. Yikes....
I haven't served my family with gladness. I have been so caught up in the stuff of the world, I have let down those closest to me. I haven't left time for them, to guide them and love them and SERVE them. But our wonderful awesome loving Savior is showing me His way. His way is less cluttered, but full of love. His way is less stressed, but prosperous. His way is making a difference already...
How did I figure all this out? It started with Sistas who speak Truth to me. You see, I had several Sistas tell me I was overdoing it. I was wearing myself out and I was missing what He was telling me. I was very upset. I thought I was doing what I was supposed to be doing. One night I was praying about it and He gave me this:
REST-- rethink every step taken-- rethink every step (I'm) taking.. Let my steps be led by Him and Him alone, guiding me into that perfect peace only HE can give me. Renew my trust daily, and remember His way is always best. Realize that my ways are weakness personified, while His are strength personified....
I was somewhat confused, and needed more answers. Papa worked it out so that we spent an amazing weekend at Ben's moms, deep in the woods. I took a hike and came to a place that looked like the spot. I sat down, took a few deep breaths and opened my notebook. This is what He said to me:
Fork in the road, fork in the tree... It's time to make the changes I've been calling you to make. Time to put aside your ways and walk fully in mine. Time to be patient, to wait.. To serve your family as wholeheartedly as you serve others, for Me. Time to reflect, to appreciate your surroundings, the world I've set you in. It's time to let others take up their crosses and follow me, while you REST and follow me. It's time to pray, to listen. I've given you instructions, but you haven't been listening. You've still been following your own ways. I want others to see you following me, and for them to see how great my way is. The birds follow my design for them. I have a design for you too. Sit outside, be still with me. Listen to life around you. Appreciate the beauty around you. I am everywhere. In the places you go, in the faces you see. Don't be afraid to say no. Purge your life of all the excess-- stress, stuff, hurts. Let it all go. Go to work, but only once or twice a month. Stop serving everywhere else... CR, church, all your ministries.. I have other plans for Sonja and Alea. I have other plans for you. Seek me first, before saying yes to anything. Trust me to guide you in my plans. Find a place like this for your time with me.. quiet, surrounded by my creation. With Shelley, show her you love her, but let her go. Trust that I will be with her every step of the way. Be kind, treat her as a friend, not a child. Allow my Spirit to penetrate your relationship with her. Don't fill your days so full that you have no time to talk to me and miss out on what I have for you. Stop getting in your head and trying to figure it all out. Ask me. Allow me to heal you, all of you. Allow me to show you the beauty of this place, of these people around you. See everything with my eyes, not yours. See my beauty, even in the things that you see as ugly. There is beauty all around you, if you will just open your eyes to see it.
Huh......
This got me to thinking... How many other "conveniences" have taken away my time with Papa? What am I missing out on by having the stuff that I have? What lessons could I learn by stepping out of my comfort zone and using my hands as my tools? Allowing Queen Mel to step down from her throne and serving not myself, but the One True King. I've been on a journey for a few months now of trying not to follow MY interpretation of His plan for me, and rather focusing on HIM. I have dropped out of ministries that I thoroughly enjoyed being a part of, I have cut out 80% of my responsibilities that I chose to have, and I have stopped doing. Period. I am focusing on my family and my home. I'm seeking the Joy He is showing me that's just around the corner. Part of the journey has also been in dealing with my excess. I hadn't realized how out of control things were until I read a book and God thumped me in the head! WE HAVE TOO MUCH STUFF!!!! Our garage was full of things that I was saving for a garage sale. There was barely a path wide enough for one of the kids to get through. We were over run with toys, books, clothes, food, supplies, knick knacks, STUFF!!!! I can't walk through my house most of the time without feeling really really stressed out. In the middle of that journey, He's been talking to me about what I'm putting in my body. Candy and cokes, junk food, baking breads and cakes and cookies, pasta and red meat... Things that we thought we had made adjustments and doing ok at getting good nutrients. Little did I know... All of my health issues are directly related to the crap I put in my body and the stress of having an overstuffed house. Too much stuff, in all areas of our life.. too much doing, not enough living.
So where do I turn when I am trying to figure out what He's been saying to me? You guessed it.. The Word.
I found a few gems...
Jeremiah 33:6-- Behold, I will bring to it health and healing, and I will heal them and reveal to them abundance of prosperity and security.
Psalm 100:2-- Serve the Lord with gladness! Come into his presence with singing!
And this one... Matthew 25:21-- His master said to him, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant. You have been faithful over a little; I will set you over much. Enter into the joy of your master.’
And then there's this one, that is taken wrong so many times.... Proverbs 31:27-31-- She looks well to the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: “Many women have done excellently, but you surpass them all.” Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. Give her of the fruit of her hands, and let her works praise her in the gates.
I know some women won't agree with me, but I want to be a Proverbs 31 wife and mother. I haven't been anywhere close to that! (Ben and the kids may disagree with this statement, but I'm not downing myself, I have a point, so give me a chance haha!) I have been concerned with charm, with beauty and vanity. I have compared myself to other women and found myself lacking because I wasn't as "..." as they were. I have pushed myself to do more and be more and give and give and give of myself until I have left no time for the things most important to me--- My Father, my husband, and my kids. Yikes....
I haven't served my family with gladness. I have been so caught up in the stuff of the world, I have let down those closest to me. I haven't left time for them, to guide them and love them and SERVE them. But our wonderful awesome loving Savior is showing me His way. His way is less cluttered, but full of love. His way is less stressed, but prosperous. His way is making a difference already...
How did I figure all this out? It started with Sistas who speak Truth to me. You see, I had several Sistas tell me I was overdoing it. I was wearing myself out and I was missing what He was telling me. I was very upset. I thought I was doing what I was supposed to be doing. One night I was praying about it and He gave me this:
REST-- rethink every step taken-- rethink every step (I'm) taking.. Let my steps be led by Him and Him alone, guiding me into that perfect peace only HE can give me. Renew my trust daily, and remember His way is always best. Realize that my ways are weakness personified, while His are strength personified....
I was somewhat confused, and needed more answers. Papa worked it out so that we spent an amazing weekend at Ben's moms, deep in the woods. I took a hike and came to a place that looked like the spot. I sat down, took a few deep breaths and opened my notebook. This is what He said to me:
Fork in the road, fork in the tree... It's time to make the changes I've been calling you to make. Time to put aside your ways and walk fully in mine. Time to be patient, to wait.. To serve your family as wholeheartedly as you serve others, for Me. Time to reflect, to appreciate your surroundings, the world I've set you in. It's time to let others take up their crosses and follow me, while you REST and follow me. It's time to pray, to listen. I've given you instructions, but you haven't been listening. You've still been following your own ways. I want others to see you following me, and for them to see how great my way is. The birds follow my design for them. I have a design for you too. Sit outside, be still with me. Listen to life around you. Appreciate the beauty around you. I am everywhere. In the places you go, in the faces you see. Don't be afraid to say no. Purge your life of all the excess-- stress, stuff, hurts. Let it all go. Go to work, but only once or twice a month. Stop serving everywhere else... CR, church, all your ministries.. I have other plans for Sonja and Alea. I have other plans for you. Seek me first, before saying yes to anything. Trust me to guide you in my plans. Find a place like this for your time with me.. quiet, surrounded by my creation. With Shelley, show her you love her, but let her go. Trust that I will be with her every step of the way. Be kind, treat her as a friend, not a child. Allow my Spirit to penetrate your relationship with her. Don't fill your days so full that you have no time to talk to me and miss out on what I have for you. Stop getting in your head and trying to figure it all out. Ask me. Allow me to heal you, all of you. Allow me to show you the beauty of this place, of these people around you. See everything with my eyes, not yours. See my beauty, even in the things that you see as ugly. There is beauty all around you, if you will just open your eyes to see it.
Jeremiah 29:11-13 For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will hear you. You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart.
He has a plan for me, and He has a plan for you, for all of us. He wants to give us hope and a future! You just have to call upon Him.. pray to Him... and He gives us this promise: HE WILL HEAR YOU. You just have to seek Him with your all of your heart... You have to love Him, and understand that He loves you... He, the Creator of all, loves you... as broken and cluttered and whatever your hangups are, HE LOVES YOU. He wants you to know that. Will you talk to Him, and find out for yourself? I certainly hope so, and that you get to experience all the Joy that He has for you....
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)