You see I consider myself an introvert. I prefer not to have any attention directed at me. I enjoy the company of my friends and family, but meeting new people kind of freaks me out, and being considered an example absolutely blows my mind. I am nothing apart from God. On my own, there is no way I would consider sharing my story with more than a handful of people at a time. Ha, for that matter, there's no way I would consider sharing my story, period. I would rather be in the background.
So of course, the enemy has been harassing me. A flashback scene on a favorite show sent me into a tail spin of anxiety and fear. It also made me really, really mad. You see, I was in the middle of requesting prayer for myself and the author of the article, as well as another young lady God has put on my heart. I was horrified when I realized what I was seeing, and how exactly like my memories the scene was.I was mad... and yes, a few choice words did come out when I was berating satan for the attack.
It took a bit for me to calm down. I immediately sought prayer from my warriors and prayed myself. Then I went to the Word, and boy, was it good! God led me to Ephesians 2, and my super awesome Discipleship Sista sent me a fantastic article written by John Piper on being weak. Oh, thank God, I am WEAK!!!! I embrace it and welcome and let the One who is STRONG do the work He has planned. As I prayed and read, I realized that God had been protecting me the entire hour long show. The only flashback I saw was the one at the very end of the show. Then throughout the weekend, He sent me Word upon Word, song upon song, friend upon friend, and love upon love......Every song on the radio spoke directly to what I was feeling at that moment. During Discipleship we tuned into the Verge 2013 conference, and every speaker was speaking right to me. In fact, that was so awesome, I have watched it the entire weekend, and it's on right now! Awesome stuff, and confirmation that God can and does work, and He does invite us to join Him where He's working. He's got people all over the world thinking about the same things, loving the same people, wanting to spread His Word in the same ways.... WOW!!!
I have experienced so much love and protection and confirmation this weekend. God invited me to join Him where He is working. It's not going to be easy, but I know, I know, I KNOW it will be worth it. It amazes me that He has chosen me to join Him. Alone, I am not much. With Him, I am a powerful weapon in the war against an enemy who wants to destroy us all. He wants to separate us from the only One who loves us no matter what. No matter what we do, He still loves us. No matter what we do, He still cares. No matter what we do, He still seeks us. He seeks us... And we turn our backs away from Him. We decide that it's too hard to do what He asks us, or that we just don't want to obey. We hurt Him over and over again and He STILL loves us.
I want to be the me that He sees in me. I want to follow the path He's set before me. I want to obey. I want the story of what He's done in my life to touch someone. I want them to see that He changed me, and that He can change them too. He heals. He loves. He wants. He doesn't need us.... He wants us. Do you want to be healed? Loved? Wanted? Seek Him. Pray for someone to come along side you and disciple you and allow God to teach you about His love. He wants you to know Him and know just how much He loves you... Don't you want that too???
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