But God.
Two small yet powerful words. Everything hinges on those two words. Think about it. We wouldn't be here, But God created us. We didn't make this, But God did. We can't do this, But God can. You intended this for evil, But God used it for good.
That is it right there. It doesn't matter how badly we mess up, how stupid we act, how wrong we are... He can change it. He makes our crooked paths straight. Think about it. How many times have you done something that you immediately knew was a very bad idea? How many times were you able to get out of it on your own? How many times have you been so certain you were right, only to find out later, you were very, very wrong? I mean it. Seriously take a few moments and think about the screw-ups in your life.
Who rescued you?
But God.
I wouldn't be here...... But God rescued me. But God used people to help me see. But God was there. But God loves me. But God. It all hinges on that one tiny little phrase, that is so very big. It all comes back to Him. He loves us enough to do the things we cannot do. He loves us enough to rescue us time and time again and straighten our paths back out when we've made them all crooked and crazy.
If only we could remember, instead of going into panic mode each time something new happens. We always seem to forget when it comes down to the wire. We definitely forget when things are going our way. We think that we are in control and that we can do what we want, when we want, and not have any consequences, because it's all about me, right? Then we finally, finally hit our knees.... crying out to Papa, "PLEASE!!!!!!!! HELP ME! I CAN"T DO THIS! PLEASE LORD I NEED YOU!!!!!!"
And we realize.....
He Is Enough.
In every situation, He is enough. In everything, He is enough. Try it out... Lost your job? He is enough. Divorced? He is enough. Childless? He is enough. Hungry? He is enough. Thirsty? He is enough.
Each and every time, we come to understand two things:
But God.
He Is Enough.
Put them together and you have the most powerful thing you could ever carve into your heart and mind:
But God, He is Enough.
No matter what I face. No matter where I go. No matter what I do. No matter what anyone else says.
But God, He is Enough.
Always and forever, amen.
Tuesday, September 6, 2016
Monday, August 29, 2016
This Crazy World Needs Love
Listen, yall.... The world has gone absurd. It has absolutely lost its mind. Don't believe me? Just log onto facebook, google, yahoo, or any actual " reputable" "news" source, and you will see all kinds of craziness. Fighting, arguing, rudeness, obnoxious behaviors, and out and out meanness are rampant. Not to mention the questions of sexual persuasion, racial tensions and who's going to be the next president.
What in the world are we supposed to do? How do we respond to so much hate and lack of love? How do we share Jesus in a world that's gone mad? One that has said they don't believe in our Creator? (Which He totally said was going to happen!)
I just can't stand it. It is driving me insane. Am I the only one who wants to stand on mountain tops or drive around town with a loud speaker, saying, "You're doing it wrong! STOP IT. This is NOT the way!!!!!"?!?
No, I didn't think so. I imagine God has laid it on all of your hearts as well. This world is sad. This world needs Jesus, but they aren't ready to hear it. Everyone is so certain they are right, believing their own press, that they do not want to be told they are wrong. We know the truth. We know He said all of this was going to happen. We know that He came to save us all, and we know that, eventually, they will know it too. Every knee WILL bow, every heart will say He is Lord.
Until then, what do we do?
We love. We love those He's put in our lives, around us, right where we are. We answer the call to be his disciples, right where we are. We show people what it means to truly love. Remember, love is patient and kind. It doesn't envy or boast, is arrogant or rude. It doesn't rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices in Truth.
It lends a hand to a neighbor who is moving a cabinet in. It's stopping in for a short chat, just to make sure they are doing ok. It's helping your co-worker on a project they are having a hard time with. It's talking a good friend down from the ledge, and pointing them to Jesus. It's being there, and caring. Even when the world says you shouldn't. It's doing and saying things that they think are crazy, because there's no way they would do or say that. It's trusting an "invisible" God to lead you closer to Him, even in the midst of the chaos of this world.
Breathe deep, dear friend. Breathe in Jesus and breathe out the crazy in this world. It isn't our job to fix it. We aren't going to be the one to change it. Only He has that job. Our only job is to do what He said do. Love Him. Love Others. Be patient and kind. Tune out all the things that distract us from that job, and it will go well for us. Is it easy? Of course not. He never said it would be. In fact, He said we would be hated for following Him.
And if you have any doubt as to whether or not that is true, just look around the world. Persecution is happening. All over the place. God is being denied left and right. Those of us who follow Him are being hated. It's going to get a lot worse before it gets better. Cement yourself in Him now. Carve his words on your heart. Be certain of His Love for you.
Because His Love fuels our Love. Without Him, we just cannot love like we need to.. and God help us, because we really, really need to Love.
What in the world are we supposed to do? How do we respond to so much hate and lack of love? How do we share Jesus in a world that's gone mad? One that has said they don't believe in our Creator? (Which He totally said was going to happen!)
I just can't stand it. It is driving me insane. Am I the only one who wants to stand on mountain tops or drive around town with a loud speaker, saying, "You're doing it wrong! STOP IT. This is NOT the way!!!!!"?!?
No, I didn't think so. I imagine God has laid it on all of your hearts as well. This world is sad. This world needs Jesus, but they aren't ready to hear it. Everyone is so certain they are right, believing their own press, that they do not want to be told they are wrong. We know the truth. We know He said all of this was going to happen. We know that He came to save us all, and we know that, eventually, they will know it too. Every knee WILL bow, every heart will say He is Lord.
Until then, what do we do?
We love. We love those He's put in our lives, around us, right where we are. We answer the call to be his disciples, right where we are. We show people what it means to truly love. Remember, love is patient and kind. It doesn't envy or boast, is arrogant or rude. It doesn't rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices in Truth.
It lends a hand to a neighbor who is moving a cabinet in. It's stopping in for a short chat, just to make sure they are doing ok. It's helping your co-worker on a project they are having a hard time with. It's talking a good friend down from the ledge, and pointing them to Jesus. It's being there, and caring. Even when the world says you shouldn't. It's doing and saying things that they think are crazy, because there's no way they would do or say that. It's trusting an "invisible" God to lead you closer to Him, even in the midst of the chaos of this world.
Breathe deep, dear friend. Breathe in Jesus and breathe out the crazy in this world. It isn't our job to fix it. We aren't going to be the one to change it. Only He has that job. Our only job is to do what He said do. Love Him. Love Others. Be patient and kind. Tune out all the things that distract us from that job, and it will go well for us. Is it easy? Of course not. He never said it would be. In fact, He said we would be hated for following Him.
And if you have any doubt as to whether or not that is true, just look around the world. Persecution is happening. All over the place. God is being denied left and right. Those of us who follow Him are being hated. It's going to get a lot worse before it gets better. Cement yourself in Him now. Carve his words on your heart. Be certain of His Love for you.
Because His Love fuels our Love. Without Him, we just cannot love like we need to.. and God help us, because we really, really need to Love.
Saturday, August 20, 2016
I'm baaaaaaaaaaaack!
Hello friends! I have missed you so!! I haven't been on here in over a year. I'm so very glad to be back. I have been writing, just not here. I've got pages of writings and poetry and all kinds of stuff. I just haven't been here. But I'm back, and whatever it looks like, I'm going to get as much of that stuff on here as I can in the next few days.
We are also going to be exploring some important, and some definitely new, subjects. For instance, I am learning how to be a submissive wife. Ouch. It scares me too. I'm reading a book that I'll be telling you guys about, as well as what God is teaching me when it comes to this hard lesson. Just this morning during prayer, we had a conversation about it. He asked me, "How can you be a submissive wife, when you don't even know how to be a submissive child?"
I was floored. He is right. I don't honor my God or my husband enough. I definitely don't "obey" most of the time. I spend money we don't have on things we don't need. I pay more attention to everything, especially my phone, than I do either of them. So yeah, conviction just slapped me in the face. Scripture says wives submit unto your husbands as unto the Lord. I don't do that. At all. How can I submit to Ben if I can't submit to Papa? We will definitely go deeper on this one!
Another topic we will be getting to is one of my favorite statements: He is Enough. Go ahead, try it out. It fits just about every scenario I have come up with. I feel unloved? He is Enough. I am hungry? He is Enough. I am thirsty? He is Enough. Scared? He is Enough. I can't do this? He is Enough.
I am pretty certain I have written on this before. If so, we will revisit it and see what He's taught me since. If not, then we will have a whole new post. Whatever happens, we are just going to roll with it.
I will also be posting how I feel, a year after my body decided it wasn't going to cooperate anymore. I actually wrote two different, yet similar versions of this story. One will appear as a guest post on a friend's blog. The other will appear here. One is very personal while the other is more how it affected all of us. I will definitely link them together so you can see the different routes He took me through my story.
So that's where we are. A post to say there are more posts coming. He is showing me all the ways He is always with me, even in the hard stuff. He is growing me and teaching me and showing me who I really am. I hope you enjoy the journey with me!
We are also going to be exploring some important, and some definitely new, subjects. For instance, I am learning how to be a submissive wife. Ouch. It scares me too. I'm reading a book that I'll be telling you guys about, as well as what God is teaching me when it comes to this hard lesson. Just this morning during prayer, we had a conversation about it. He asked me, "How can you be a submissive wife, when you don't even know how to be a submissive child?"
I was floored. He is right. I don't honor my God or my husband enough. I definitely don't "obey" most of the time. I spend money we don't have on things we don't need. I pay more attention to everything, especially my phone, than I do either of them. So yeah, conviction just slapped me in the face. Scripture says wives submit unto your husbands as unto the Lord. I don't do that. At all. How can I submit to Ben if I can't submit to Papa? We will definitely go deeper on this one!
Another topic we will be getting to is one of my favorite statements: He is Enough. Go ahead, try it out. It fits just about every scenario I have come up with. I feel unloved? He is Enough. I am hungry? He is Enough. I am thirsty? He is Enough. Scared? He is Enough. I can't do this? He is Enough.
I am pretty certain I have written on this before. If so, we will revisit it and see what He's taught me since. If not, then we will have a whole new post. Whatever happens, we are just going to roll with it.
I will also be posting how I feel, a year after my body decided it wasn't going to cooperate anymore. I actually wrote two different, yet similar versions of this story. One will appear as a guest post on a friend's blog. The other will appear here. One is very personal while the other is more how it affected all of us. I will definitely link them together so you can see the different routes He took me through my story.
So that's where we are. A post to say there are more posts coming. He is showing me all the ways He is always with me, even in the hard stuff. He is growing me and teaching me and showing me who I really am. I hope you enjoy the journey with me!
Saturday, August 22, 2015
Me
It's been a while, I know. I haven't felt capable of writing, if that makes sense. I've been jotting down notes here and there. Short little paragraphs every once in a while, but beyond that, my writing has been off. It wasn't until tonight that I really felt that I had missed it, so here we are. Please bear with me as I find my groove again. It may be a wee bit bumpy, but it'll be real.
I have a new friend, and I've been sharing my story with her. I've marveled at the changes in me. I've been astounded at how many of the things I use to be are no longer even remotely present in my life. Wow.
I AM NOT WHO I ONCE WAS.
I can no longer be called by the labels I wore before. The skill set that I was so proud of in my past life is no longer one that I utilize, or even want to. You see, I was a bad, bad girl.... evil in a red dress, and most people couldn't see it. I could walk into a room, take its pulse and know exactly how to work everyone in there. I could manipulate each person into seeing a different version of me, but no one saw the real me.
Not even me.
I had no idea who I was, and if I'm honest, I didn't want to know the real me. That person was weak. That person got hurt. It was much easier being the bitter, enraged, perfectly-perfect-in-their-eyes person that I pretended to be every single day.
If you don't see the real me, you can't hurt the real me.
I spent several years developing my walls and building my masks. Even those who thought they knew me well didn't know me. I put on a mask every morning, and just rotated through the collection as the need arose. Super sexy siren? Check. Fun party girl? Check. Loyal hardworking employee? Check. Mom of the year? Check. Perfect hostess, lover of all things, good girl, bad girl.... I was as fickle as Arkansas weather.
It was exhausting.
I couldn't do it. I couldn't be what everyone wanted me to be. I couldn't pretend that I was okay, when I was so far from it that I was ready to end it. I even tried to, but......
God had other plans.
He sent people to speak to me. He put people in my life to show truth to me, even when I didn't know that was what they were doing. Now I can look back and see each and every person He sent to get me to the point that I am now. I'm still not perfect. I still mess up. I get frustrated and stumble, which irritates me even more. I fall down, but I get back up.
Not of my own will, but because He's put people here to walk this with me. People to reach down and pick me up when I fall. People who will let me lean on them, and who will lean on me when they are stumbling. People who are there, not because I'm wearing a mask that they really like, but because I'm just me. People who understand I'm just human, too.
I've really seen this lived out well in the last three weeks. I've been down.. Fibro started a fight and won this round, but didn't knock me out. My family and friends have rallied around me. Ben has worked exhausting hours, then come home and taken care of me and the kids and everything else. My sistas have shown up to do my dishes, bring me lunch, mop my floors, do my laundry, just sit with me, or break me out of house jail for the first time in three weeks.
Not because of me, but because I put my masks down and asked Jesus to lead me back to Him. I submitted myself to His plans, and I've walked the path He's laid before me. It hasn't always been easy, and there have been plenty of times I've BEGGED Him to plot a different course.
But......
It's been worth it. And it will continue to be worth it, until the day I am standing with Him, face to face, in a place that I cannot even begin to imagine. Then, all of this, everything good and everything bad that I've lived through, all of it will be nothing in the presence of Truth and Love.
I have a new friend, and I've been sharing my story with her. I've marveled at the changes in me. I've been astounded at how many of the things I use to be are no longer even remotely present in my life. Wow.
I AM NOT WHO I ONCE WAS.
I can no longer be called by the labels I wore before. The skill set that I was so proud of in my past life is no longer one that I utilize, or even want to. You see, I was a bad, bad girl.... evil in a red dress, and most people couldn't see it. I could walk into a room, take its pulse and know exactly how to work everyone in there. I could manipulate each person into seeing a different version of me, but no one saw the real me.
Not even me.
I had no idea who I was, and if I'm honest, I didn't want to know the real me. That person was weak. That person got hurt. It was much easier being the bitter, enraged, perfectly-perfect-in-their-eyes person that I pretended to be every single day.
If you don't see the real me, you can't hurt the real me.
I spent several years developing my walls and building my masks. Even those who thought they knew me well didn't know me. I put on a mask every morning, and just rotated through the collection as the need arose. Super sexy siren? Check. Fun party girl? Check. Loyal hardworking employee? Check. Mom of the year? Check. Perfect hostess, lover of all things, good girl, bad girl.... I was as fickle as Arkansas weather.
It was exhausting.
I couldn't do it. I couldn't be what everyone wanted me to be. I couldn't pretend that I was okay, when I was so far from it that I was ready to end it. I even tried to, but......
God had other plans.
He sent people to speak to me. He put people in my life to show truth to me, even when I didn't know that was what they were doing. Now I can look back and see each and every person He sent to get me to the point that I am now. I'm still not perfect. I still mess up. I get frustrated and stumble, which irritates me even more. I fall down, but I get back up.
Not of my own will, but because He's put people here to walk this with me. People to reach down and pick me up when I fall. People who will let me lean on them, and who will lean on me when they are stumbling. People who are there, not because I'm wearing a mask that they really like, but because I'm just me. People who understand I'm just human, too.
I've really seen this lived out well in the last three weeks. I've been down.. Fibro started a fight and won this round, but didn't knock me out. My family and friends have rallied around me. Ben has worked exhausting hours, then come home and taken care of me and the kids and everything else. My sistas have shown up to do my dishes, bring me lunch, mop my floors, do my laundry, just sit with me, or break me out of house jail for the first time in three weeks.
Not because of me, but because I put my masks down and asked Jesus to lead me back to Him. I submitted myself to His plans, and I've walked the path He's laid before me. It hasn't always been easy, and there have been plenty of times I've BEGGED Him to plot a different course.
But......
It's been worth it. And it will continue to be worth it, until the day I am standing with Him, face to face, in a place that I cannot even begin to imagine. Then, all of this, everything good and everything bad that I've lived through, all of it will be nothing in the presence of Truth and Love.
Tuesday, November 11, 2014
Tolerance vs. Love
Update, 2016: This post goes crazy about halfway through and I cannot fix it. It's one of those things that I can't control and therefore drive me crazy. If you are like that as well, I apologize. I have tried everything, including rewriting, to fix it. It's just going to drive us crazy. Those of you who can ignore it, bravo! It's a great message still, I believe. Especially given the changes in our world since then. Bless this world. Pray for your fellow man. We really need each other!
The other day, I had the best conversation I think I have ever had, with perfect strangers, in a tire shop of all places. We talked about things people don't typically talk about without going into knock-down, drag-out, kick 'em in the knee fights: Christianity, politics, parenting, and race. There were six of us. One man, two older white women, two older black women, and myself. It was awesome! No one got offended, no one got out of line. It was genuine conversation between strangers, bonding over the terrible things we were seeing on the news.
One thing has really stuck with me. We were watching a man lead a panel on race and all the problems that are going on in today's world. They pretty much all agreed that racial tension is worse today than it has been in the last several years. They all agreed that something should be done. Their solution?
We should be more tolerant.
Wait...... We should be more tolerant? That doesn't sound good. I looked it up. Tolerance is "the ability or willingness to accept something with forbearance, in particular the existence of opinions or behavior that one does not necessarily agree with." So, to me, tolerance is judging someone, finding them lacking, and saying: "There's something wrong with you, but I'm not going to say anything about it, at least not out loud. To you." Y'all... tolerance is judgment.
That's not love.
We are not called to tolerate one another. We are called to love each other.
John 13:34-35 “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”
That doesn't say, "TOLERATE one another. As I have TOLERATED you, so you must TOLERATE one another." It says LOVE. Love is what Jesus did. He showed us a very good example. Even in the midst of brutality and hatred, He LOVED. Even when one of those closest to Him betrayed Him, He LOVED. Even as that one kissed him on the cheek, He LOVED.
Even on the cross, He LOVED.
He loved, y'all. He didn't tolerate. The story would have been crazy different if He tolerated us instead of loved us. We know the story. We know He loves us. However, there is one who doesn't want us to know that. One who would love to deflect the truth and twist it into a lie of tolerance. So far, he's been very successful. We are actually telling people we need to tolerate instead of love.
Can you imagine a world filled with Truth and Love versus the world we have now, filled with Lies and Tolerance? Stop for a minute and think about that...
Your neighbor, who believes a certain something that you tolerate, but you really don't like it, or him? What would it look like if you loved him instead?
Your boss, who does this and that and it really bugs you... What would it look like if you loved her instead?
Your spouse, who repeatedly does that one thing you can't stand and irritates the heck out of you.... what if you loved him instead?
That family member, who says and does things you totally disagree with... what if you loved her instead?
The list can go on and on. I know you've thought of people you only tolerate as you've read this. We ALL do it. We all do it, and yet we say we don't. The enemy already uses every single thing he can to get to us and distract us from God. Do you really want to give him anymore ammunition?
If you have these relationships, pray about them. Ask God to show you how to truly LOVE. If you don't think you have these relationships, pray about that too. Ask Him to show you in which relationships you need to show love instead of tolerance.
He will help you. Know why? Because He loves you and everyone you know, too!!
Love each other. Love Him. Change the world, one relationship at a time.
The other day, I had the best conversation I think I have ever had, with perfect strangers, in a tire shop of all places. We talked about things people don't typically talk about without going into knock-down, drag-out, kick 'em in the knee fights: Christianity, politics, parenting, and race. There were six of us. One man, two older white women, two older black women, and myself. It was awesome! No one got offended, no one got out of line. It was genuine conversation between strangers, bonding over the terrible things we were seeing on the news.
One thing has really stuck with me. We were watching a man lead a panel on race and all the problems that are going on in today's world. They pretty much all agreed that racial tension is worse today than it has been in the last several years. They all agreed that something should be done. Their solution?
We should be more tolerant.
Wait...... We should be more tolerant? That doesn't sound good. I looked it up. Tolerance is "the ability or willingness to accept something with forbearance, in particular the existence of opinions or behavior that one does not necessarily agree with." So, to me, tolerance is judging someone, finding them lacking, and saying: "There's something wrong with you, but I'm not going to say anything about it, at least not out loud. To you." Y'all... tolerance is judgment.
That's not love.
We are not called to tolerate one another. We are called to love each other.
John 13:34-35 “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”
That doesn't say, "TOLERATE one another. As I have TOLERATED you, so you must TOLERATE one another." It says LOVE. Love is what Jesus did. He showed us a very good example. Even in the midst of brutality and hatred, He LOVED. Even when one of those closest to Him betrayed Him, He LOVED. Even as that one kissed him on the cheek, He LOVED.
Even on the cross, He LOVED.
He loved, y'all. He didn't tolerate. The story would have been crazy different if He tolerated us instead of loved us. We know the story. We know He loves us. However, there is one who doesn't want us to know that. One who would love to deflect the truth and twist it into a lie of tolerance. So far, he's been very successful. We are actually telling people we need to tolerate instead of love.
Can you imagine a world filled with Truth and Love versus the world we have now, filled with Lies and Tolerance? Stop for a minute and think about that...
Your neighbor, who believes a certain something that you tolerate, but you really don't like it, or him? What would it look like if you loved him instead?
Your boss, who does this and that and it really bugs you... What would it look like if you loved her instead?
Your spouse, who repeatedly does that one thing you can't stand and irritates the heck out of you.... what if you loved him instead?
That family member, who says and does things you totally disagree with... what if you loved her instead?
The list can go on and on. I know you've thought of people you only tolerate as you've read this. We ALL do it. We all do it, and yet we say we don't. The enemy already uses every single thing he can to get to us and distract us from God. Do you really want to give him anymore ammunition?
If you have these relationships, pray about them. Ask God to show you how to truly LOVE. If you don't think you have these relationships, pray about that too. Ask Him to show you in which relationships you need to show love instead of tolerance.
He will help you. Know why? Because He loves you and everyone you know, too!!
Love each other. Love Him. Change the world, one relationship at a time.
Monday, August 4, 2014
Pear Trees
Hey there... It's been a while, I know. There's been lots of learning and growing, but when it has come to writing, there have been crickets..... and birds, and frogs, and trees and mint and a million lovely things Papa has been speaking to me through, in this beautiful world around us.
It's been such a joy to be a part of. The journey of discovery He's taking me on has been echoed in everything around me. I'm learning what He wants me to learn just by slowing down and listening to Him. By appreciating the world He's created for us.
For example.....
There are the beautiful pear trees, that just take my breath away, especially those few short days when they are bursting forth with stinky beautiful white flowers. Yes, I said stinky. They are so gross. But the trees, oh the trees... They stand side by side, growing so close together that you can't tell where one begins and the other ends. Their silhouette, together, is that of a big, full abundant tree. To separate these trees would be to cut that beauty in half, leaving harsh scars and broken shape. There would no longer be beauty, only brokenness, and likely death.
They speak to me of what love and marriage should be. Two people, standing side by side, growing so close together that you can't tell where one begins and the other ends. Their silhouette together, that of a big, full abundant life. To separate them would leave harsh scars and brokenness... the beauty crushed. They must stand arm in arm, holding each other up. Their roots must be deep, reaching for the water that they need to survive. They also have branches that stretch and dance in the breeze, whipped in the rain. They sing a lovely song, with the leaves all chattering at once. The stages of the tree are lovely... that new neon green after a cold winter's nap, the burgeoning green as the leaves reach their full potential... the beautiful stinky flowers... the fall color slowly creeping in then disappearing all at once... the naked bare limbs, waiting on Spring's warmth to clothe them again.
Like the trees, marriage should be rooted.. in strong faith and a willingness to live out the commandment, given in Matthew 22, 36-40:
36 “Teacher, which is the great commandment in the Law?” 37 And he said to him, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. 38 This is the great and first commandment. 39 And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. 40 On these two commandments depend all the Law and the Prophets.”
Like trees, we should reach for the Father, stretching towards Him. As the branches reach up, soaking up the light, so should we. When the wind blows through and the storms arise, we dance in rain, knowing it will soon pass.
John 8:12:
12 Again Jesus spoke to them, saying, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will not walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.”
As we are rooted in darkness, we should be ever reaching for the Light.
Only the Light can keep us strong. Only the Light can grow us, even rooted in bad soil. As we reach for the Light, He teaches us to dig deep through the darkness to find the Living Water. Only He can show us where our roots should go. Only He can quiet our chattering hearts to hear His quiet answer.
I am Here.
I love you.
And if we are both listening... if we are both loving God, and loving each other... then we grow together. We reach toward God, leaning on each other, listening to His quiet answers and loving each other along the way. Growing toward the beautiful shape that is marriage, led by God. Holding each other up, dancing in the storms, stretching our arms always toward Him, and growing more beautiful each day.
However....
While the pear trees are beautiful, there are a few places that need to be cut back, in order to give strength to the rest of the trees. Some damage from the last storm harms the tree. This is the sin in our world. It steals the beauty that God created. Within our sick and twisted hearts, we think it is hidden, unable to be seen, but our Creator sees all. It's anger, pain, drugs, alcohol, porn, food... it's whatever keeps you from giving your entire heart to Him. It's whatever holds you back, keeps you from loving, keeps you from love. These are our selfish ways, causing us to be naked and broken, ashamed.
But... He.
He can cut it all away. It's going to hurt. It's probably going to be hard. But He will do it in a loving, this is for your own good kind of way, if you stand still and let Him do it. As your sins are cut away, He leaves you fresh, tender... no longer ashamed.
A new you... a new shape. If your marriage is like the pear trees, then your spouse is being trimmed too. As He cuts away the sin in both of you, He forms a new shape, more beautiful than before. As you love your spouse, as he loves you, as you both Love Jesus.... you grow together, cycling through the seasons of life, through the storms of the world. Reaching ever toward Papa, seeking the Living Water and leaning on each other in the process.
Loving, learning, obeying....
It's been such a joy to be a part of. The journey of discovery He's taking me on has been echoed in everything around me. I'm learning what He wants me to learn just by slowing down and listening to Him. By appreciating the world He's created for us.
For example.....
There are the beautiful pear trees, that just take my breath away, especially those few short days when they are bursting forth with stinky beautiful white flowers. Yes, I said stinky. They are so gross. But the trees, oh the trees... They stand side by side, growing so close together that you can't tell where one begins and the other ends. Their silhouette, together, is that of a big, full abundant tree. To separate these trees would be to cut that beauty in half, leaving harsh scars and broken shape. There would no longer be beauty, only brokenness, and likely death.
Like the trees, marriage should be rooted.. in strong faith and a willingness to live out the commandment, given in Matthew 22, 36-40:
36 “Teacher, which is the great commandment in the Law?” 37 And he said to him, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. 38 This is the great and first commandment. 39 And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. 40 On these two commandments depend all the Law and the Prophets.”
Like trees, we should reach for the Father, stretching towards Him. As the branches reach up, soaking up the light, so should we. When the wind blows through and the storms arise, we dance in rain, knowing it will soon pass.
John 8:12:
12 Again Jesus spoke to them, saying, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will not walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.”
As we are rooted in darkness, we should be ever reaching for the Light.
Only the Light can keep us strong. Only the Light can grow us, even rooted in bad soil. As we reach for the Light, He teaches us to dig deep through the darkness to find the Living Water. Only He can show us where our roots should go. Only He can quiet our chattering hearts to hear His quiet answer.
I am Here.
I love you.
And if we are both listening... if we are both loving God, and loving each other... then we grow together. We reach toward God, leaning on each other, listening to His quiet answers and loving each other along the way. Growing toward the beautiful shape that is marriage, led by God. Holding each other up, dancing in the storms, stretching our arms always toward Him, and growing more beautiful each day.
However....
While the pear trees are beautiful, there are a few places that need to be cut back, in order to give strength to the rest of the trees. Some damage from the last storm harms the tree. This is the sin in our world. It steals the beauty that God created. Within our sick and twisted hearts, we think it is hidden, unable to be seen, but our Creator sees all. It's anger, pain, drugs, alcohol, porn, food... it's whatever keeps you from giving your entire heart to Him. It's whatever holds you back, keeps you from loving, keeps you from love. These are our selfish ways, causing us to be naked and broken, ashamed.
But... He.
He can cut it all away. It's going to hurt. It's probably going to be hard. But He will do it in a loving, this is for your own good kind of way, if you stand still and let Him do it. As your sins are cut away, He leaves you fresh, tender... no longer ashamed.
A new you... a new shape. If your marriage is like the pear trees, then your spouse is being trimmed too. As He cuts away the sin in both of you, He forms a new shape, more beautiful than before. As you love your spouse, as he loves you, as you both Love Jesus.... you grow together, cycling through the seasons of life, through the storms of the world. Reaching ever toward Papa, seeking the Living Water and leaning on each other in the process.
Loving, learning, obeying....
Saturday, February 15, 2014
A Lesson
Man life has really been kicking my butt lately. It seems like I'm not just leaning on God, I'm hanging on for dear life. There's been great things come of it, but I am tired.
I've been crying since yesterday afternoon. You see, a few weeks ago, our landlord told us we had to get rid of our two dogs, Irish and Liddel. I'm one of those people who absolutely love our animals. They are family to us, and this was just not something I wanted to do. We prayed and prayed and looked at houses and told God we were willing to do whatever He wanted. Even if it meant moving into a subdivision. Not to cut subdivisions, but I'm a country girl. I like trees and wide open spaces and for my kids to be able to run and play at will. Most subdivisions are too close together, but I know they have their benefits too, so I was willing. I hate moving, dread it with a passion, but I was willing.
I was CERTAIN that God wouldn't want us to give up our babies, but I knew that we could call Ben's brother and sister, and that they would take Liddel back no questions asked. They raised her from a wee little puppy. She was the runt of the litter and the momma didn't want to take care of her. They bottle fed her and loved her and raised her to be this adorably sweet, feisty alpha dog. She's a whopping 1.6 pound chihuahua terrier mix. Irish is a funny dog. She's a Peruvian hairless, but was a recessive throwback and has the softest, most beautiful coat, mostly black and blond. If you've never seen a peruvian hairless, Google it. It's the funniest looking dog you've ever seen! Irish, though, is beautiful. She's already in the 30-35 pound range, at only eight months old. She's tall and lean, like a greyhound, but resembles a German shepherd. She's fast and sweet and smart, but stubborn. They made a very cute, slightly strange team.
Yesterday, Irish stepped on Liddel. They play all the time and Liddel usually bosses Irish around, but yesterday they had a misstep. Liddel was hurt and needed to go to the vet. As I drove to the vet, I prayed, "Your Will, not mine. Whatever is the plan, I am with You." I knew this was headed in a direction I didn't want. We got to the vet and they suggested an x-ray, because her leg or hip might be broken. Uhm, that's not in the budget folks. I accepted the pain meds and the directives that she must be kept calm and quiet. Yeah, that's not possible at my house. My heart continued to sink. I paid a bill we couldn't exactly afford and left the office. I lost it. I knew I had to call Todd and Angie.
I cried the whole way home. As I drove, I listened to our local Christian radio station. I had noticed when I was headed to the vet that the songs were exactly what I needed to hear, but on the way home, it was unreal. The songs were ones that mentioned "there will come a day with no more tears" and "cry out to Jesus" and "in my failures You won't walk out". I was blown away and cried even harder. Here I was, upset, crying and yes, mad that this was the answer we had been waiting on. And here He is, showing me His promises are always truth. He will lead us. He will guide us. His ways are best. Even when we don't understand them. I called Todd and rather tearfully explained what was going on, and he had Angie call me. Of course they will take her back and love her and take care of her and nurse her back to health. They love her too, and understand that my heart is breaking. We made arrangements for them to come today.
I took Liddel this morning to see a very sweet special friend who did the x-ray for us. She confirmed our hopes and not our fears.. she was only bruised and sprained, not broken. She will be well in a few days. I headed home and took a nap while I waited on the call from Angie. They came this afternoon and picked her up. She was so excited to see them. I'm happy for her, but I am terribly sad. After she left, I called Shelley and told her she had left and that we were making decisions about Irish, too. When I saw my friend this morning, we discussed options to find her a good home who would love her and continue to teach her and let her grow into the awesome dog we know she's going to be. Shelley and I talked about how sad I was and how the kids were handling it, which was surprisingly well... better than me actually! We hung up and I cried a little more. (I've been crying off and on all day.) A few minutes later, she called me back to say she, her dad and especially her roommate, wanted Irish to come live with them! Irish and Jacob, Shel's roommate, have a special bond. She listens to him even when she won't listen to me. Now Irish is staying in the family too, and we will get to see her anytime we want as well. Both of our babies are going to be well taken care of.
This was not the answer I wanted. I wanted my cake and to eat it too, to be honest. I wanted to not have to move and to keep our babies. That's not feasible and that isn't in His plan. This is, and I have to be okay with it. Not only do I have to be okay with it, I have to trust Him that this IS the best plan. I have to know that He is guiding us to the places He wants us, to bring us closer to Him. I have to obey.
But....
I can cry. I can be sad. Nowhere does it say we can't have emotions while following Him. He knows we have them... He gave them to us. I can feel what I'm feeling for a little while. I don't have to feel silly for being upset about this. I don't have to feel guilty either. Both of those are from the enemy, not from God. He loves me, and He hurts for me, but He knows His plan. I don't. There's a reason they don't fit into the plan right now.
And that's okay. I'm okay. Cause His ways are always better. Even when it hurts. On the other side, I will be stronger and closer to Him. Right now, I get to learn a valuable lesson in Trust, Love, and Obedience. For that, I thank Him.
For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord
For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts.
~Isaiah 55:8-9
I've been crying since yesterday afternoon. You see, a few weeks ago, our landlord told us we had to get rid of our two dogs, Irish and Liddel. I'm one of those people who absolutely love our animals. They are family to us, and this was just not something I wanted to do. We prayed and prayed and looked at houses and told God we were willing to do whatever He wanted. Even if it meant moving into a subdivision. Not to cut subdivisions, but I'm a country girl. I like trees and wide open spaces and for my kids to be able to run and play at will. Most subdivisions are too close together, but I know they have their benefits too, so I was willing. I hate moving, dread it with a passion, but I was willing.
I was CERTAIN that God wouldn't want us to give up our babies, but I knew that we could call Ben's brother and sister, and that they would take Liddel back no questions asked. They raised her from a wee little puppy. She was the runt of the litter and the momma didn't want to take care of her. They bottle fed her and loved her and raised her to be this adorably sweet, feisty alpha dog. She's a whopping 1.6 pound chihuahua terrier mix. Irish is a funny dog. She's a Peruvian hairless, but was a recessive throwback and has the softest, most beautiful coat, mostly black and blond. If you've never seen a peruvian hairless, Google it. It's the funniest looking dog you've ever seen! Irish, though, is beautiful. She's already in the 30-35 pound range, at only eight months old. She's tall and lean, like a greyhound, but resembles a German shepherd. She's fast and sweet and smart, but stubborn. They made a very cute, slightly strange team.
Yesterday, Irish stepped on Liddel. They play all the time and Liddel usually bosses Irish around, but yesterday they had a misstep. Liddel was hurt and needed to go to the vet. As I drove to the vet, I prayed, "Your Will, not mine. Whatever is the plan, I am with You." I knew this was headed in a direction I didn't want. We got to the vet and they suggested an x-ray, because her leg or hip might be broken. Uhm, that's not in the budget folks. I accepted the pain meds and the directives that she must be kept calm and quiet. Yeah, that's not possible at my house. My heart continued to sink. I paid a bill we couldn't exactly afford and left the office. I lost it. I knew I had to call Todd and Angie.
I cried the whole way home. As I drove, I listened to our local Christian radio station. I had noticed when I was headed to the vet that the songs were exactly what I needed to hear, but on the way home, it was unreal. The songs were ones that mentioned "there will come a day with no more tears" and "cry out to Jesus" and "in my failures You won't walk out". I was blown away and cried even harder. Here I was, upset, crying and yes, mad that this was the answer we had been waiting on. And here He is, showing me His promises are always truth. He will lead us. He will guide us. His ways are best. Even when we don't understand them. I called Todd and rather tearfully explained what was going on, and he had Angie call me. Of course they will take her back and love her and take care of her and nurse her back to health. They love her too, and understand that my heart is breaking. We made arrangements for them to come today.
I took Liddel this morning to see a very sweet special friend who did the x-ray for us. She confirmed our hopes and not our fears.. she was only bruised and sprained, not broken. She will be well in a few days. I headed home and took a nap while I waited on the call from Angie. They came this afternoon and picked her up. She was so excited to see them. I'm happy for her, but I am terribly sad. After she left, I called Shelley and told her she had left and that we were making decisions about Irish, too. When I saw my friend this morning, we discussed options to find her a good home who would love her and continue to teach her and let her grow into the awesome dog we know she's going to be. Shelley and I talked about how sad I was and how the kids were handling it, which was surprisingly well... better than me actually! We hung up and I cried a little more. (I've been crying off and on all day.) A few minutes later, she called me back to say she, her dad and especially her roommate, wanted Irish to come live with them! Irish and Jacob, Shel's roommate, have a special bond. She listens to him even when she won't listen to me. Now Irish is staying in the family too, and we will get to see her anytime we want as well. Both of our babies are going to be well taken care of.
This was not the answer I wanted. I wanted my cake and to eat it too, to be honest. I wanted to not have to move and to keep our babies. That's not feasible and that isn't in His plan. This is, and I have to be okay with it. Not only do I have to be okay with it, I have to trust Him that this IS the best plan. I have to know that He is guiding us to the places He wants us, to bring us closer to Him. I have to obey.
But....
I can cry. I can be sad. Nowhere does it say we can't have emotions while following Him. He knows we have them... He gave them to us. I can feel what I'm feeling for a little while. I don't have to feel silly for being upset about this. I don't have to feel guilty either. Both of those are from the enemy, not from God. He loves me, and He hurts for me, but He knows His plan. I don't. There's a reason they don't fit into the plan right now.
And that's okay. I'm okay. Cause His ways are always better. Even when it hurts. On the other side, I will be stronger and closer to Him. Right now, I get to learn a valuable lesson in Trust, Love, and Obedience. For that, I thank Him.
For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord
For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts.
~Isaiah 55:8-9
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