Walking

How do you know if you are on the right path? Is it a feeling? Or the things that happen? Is it a gaining of something? What clues you in?

For me, the path I've been on for the last few years hasn't been easy. It's gotten harder and harder the closer I've gotten to God. I struggle with whether I'm following His will or mine at times. Sometimes it's hard to hear what He's asking me to do. Other times, though, it's so very clear.

It's been almost a year since He told me to quit my job during an intense prayer day. Even then, I questioned it. His response? "Daughter, why are you doubting me? Have I not taken care of you this entire time?" WHOA.... What do you say to that??? Uh, yes, sir... You have. And You do. So despite the fact that we would become a family with no "real" income, I quit my job. It was one of the hardest things I've done. However, the blessings that have happened in the last year have been unbelievable.

We've had many things go wrong, and many people look down on us for not doing what we "should" be doing. The thing they don't understand is we don't live life for the world. We live life for God, and for the promise that we will be with Him when this life is done. The choices we make are based on prayer and trying our hardest to live life for Him, and not ourselves. In the last year, I've gotten closer to Him than I've ever been before. We've had really difficult times, but the joys of knowing God is with us and giving us exactly what we need when we need it has been awesome. When I doubt, He shows me how silly I am. When I question, He gives me an answer, usually in the most unbelievable way. When I'm sad, He shows me love. When I'm happy, He shows me even more love.

I prayed one night for direction, that I wanted to be doing what He wants me to do. The next day, my good friend Kathy called me and asked if I would join her and Jen, who I was also friends with but didn't know very well, in a Discipleship class. Talk about God's timing being perfect!!! We began our study, and while I still think I am very young in my faith, this has brought me closer and closer to Him. It has also brought me closer to them, and they have become some of my best friends. When I have a problem, they are among the first I call, if not the first. We have grown closer in our faith, and closer in our relationship. Satan attacks us constantly, and it's almost funny sometimes to see it coming. They always seem to be when we are in a crucial moment of learning how to be closer to God. For instance, Saturday at lunch our girls, 5 and 6, asked to be baptized, to die to self and live life for Jesus. That night, Jonah started puking.  We always meet on Tuesdays, and this week Jen's daughters are sick. In the last few months, we've all battled intense migraines, illnesses that should only last a few days that last for weeks, and struggles with kids, family and friends. And yeah, I get that the average person is probably rolling their eyes right now and saying, "Really, Mel, everyone deals with that kind of stuff". But.... when you live life for God, you KNOW when it's Satan. And you know how to battle him. You pray. And pray. And pray..... pray without ceasing.

I never knew what that meant til I got closer to Him. Now I get it. And He brings me closer and closer to Him each day. He's showing me how He wants me to serve Him. He's showing me where He wants me to go. I feel like I'm walking to Ninevah. I have NO idea what our Ninevah will be, but I know we are headed that way, so I'll keep walking. And the more I walk, the closer I'll get. Wanna walk with me? It's pretty easy, but it's also pretty hard. You'll face good times and bad. You'll be on the receiving end of happiness and sadness. You'll question and wonder. You'll receive answers, but sometimes not the ones you want. But through it all, you'll know you are headed to something wonderful!!!