Waiting

I have spent a lot of the last few days waiting. There's an old song by The Kinks that has been stuck in my brain that goes like this: "So tired, tired of waiting, tired of waiting for you...." I waited on doctors. I waited on nurses. I waited for Shelley to get better. I waited on things to level out.

Waiting and waiting and waiting. It seems hurry up and wait is what I'm supposed to be doing right now.

Right now, even as I write, I am waiting on Shelley to get here so I can help her. I'm waiting on God to show us what we are doing and where we are going. I'm waiting to see if we are going to be moving and if so, where. I'm waiting to see how the Fringe is going to go, as it kicked off Sunday. There is so much I'm waiting on.

And I hate it.

I don't like waiting. I like to do things right now. I like to know what it is I am going to be doing. I like to have a plan in place so that when it's time to get moving, things go well. I like to be prepared for whatever is coming our way.

But following Jesus isn't like that.

I have to let go of all the things that I like to be in control of. I have to wait on His plan. I have to trust that His timing is perfect. I have to wait upon the Lord.

Lamentations 3: 24-26 says:

“The Lord is my portion,” says my soul,
    “therefore I will hope in him.”

The Lord is good to those who wait for him,
    to the soul who seeks him.

It is good that one should wait quietly
    for the salvation of the Lord.

Psalm 27: 13-14 says:  

I believe that I shall look upon the goodness of the Lord
    in the land of the living! 

 Wait for the Lord;
    be strong, and let your heart take courage;
    wait for the Lord!

Isaiah 30:18 says:

Therefore the Lord waits to be gracious to you,
    and therefore he exalts himself to show mercy to you.
For the Lord is a God of justice;
    blessed are all those who wait for him.

Even when I feel like the world is moving and I am stuck in one spot, He is moving. He is good, and if I patiently, quietly wait, something good will happen. When I push the issue, He encourages me to be strong and wait for Him. When I wait, He shows mercy. He blesses me when I wait on Him. 

I don't like waiting. I don't like not being the one in control. I want things to happen when I want them. I want a magic wand, an easy fix. I don't want to wait. I want things to happen in my time, so that I don't have to wait. I want life to be easy, just once or twice.

Life isn't that way though. It's a step at a time, mostly in the right direction. It's knowing that at times we are going to stumble and rush the plan. There will be times when we drop the ball altogether and fall flat on our faces. He gives us grace though. He walks us through the tough times and shows us what we learned when we get to the other side. He picks us back up when we fall, and shows us that He was right there all along. 

Waiting. 

Waiting to show us His glory and His grace. Waiting to show us His love. If the Lord can wait upon us, why can't we wait upon Him?